Hermione's Grief
by Serafina
Summary: **CHAPTER 9 IS UP (FINALLY!)**Harry and Ron are dead, leaving Hermione alone with her daughter. Then, at Harry's funeral, Hermione makes a suprising and life-changing decision. Please R/R
1. Rest in Peace

Hermione stood at the edge of the grave, looking down at the casket within

Hermione stood at the edge of the grave, looking down at the casket within. It was a simple wooden casket. Nothing fancy, nothing that would indicate the significance of the one inside. Harry. They had been married for 5 years, ever since she was 23.

She should have known it was too good to last. The war had been raging, sweeping them all up in its path. While they were still at Hogwarts they had begun to see their friends fall, first Cedric, then Hagrid, and finally Ron.

Ron.

Just the thought of him brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. It had been at the end of their 7th year, a week before graduation. They had been down at Hogsmeade in the Three Brooksticks having a celebratory butterbeer with Fred and George who had founded their joke down the street after their graduation. The door had burst open, revealing a group of Death Eaters brandishing wands. All of the customers started screaming and trying to run out the door in a panic, but the Death Eaters ignored them all, instead walking to the back of the room where the trio was sitting with the twins. Harry had stood up, facing the Death Eaters boldly.

The leader, she now knew that it had been Lucius Malfoy, had drawn his wand and taken aim at Harry. Harry had aimed his wand back at Malfoy, he mouth set in a grim, determined line. Hermione and Ron had watched on in horror. Harry tried to disarm him, but Harry had been too slow; Malfoy had already said the Killing Curse. Ron, rather than watch his best friend die, had lunged at Harry, tried to bring him to the floor so he would not be hit.

Ron succeeded, partially. The curse missed Harry, instead hitting Ron in the back. He was dead before he hit the floor.

Her memory of the day ended there; she vaguely recalled being carried back to Hogwarts by someone, she thought it was Sirius, but she wasn't sure.

The words of Arthur Weasley, Minister of Magic, brought her back to her senses.

"We are gathered here today, on this day, July 3, to lay to rest our best friend, husband, and hero, Harold James Potter, who bravely gave his life in the ongoing fight against darkness," Arthur said, tears running down his face leaving red streaks that matched his hair.

Hermione dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief, weeping softly to herself. On her left was Ginny, her face buried her hands, the tears running through the cracks between her fingers like rainwater. On her right was Lilith, Harry and Hermione's daughter. She was 5 years old, old enough to know what was happening. She clung to her mother's robes, crying. There wasn't a dry eye in the graveyard, or the world, for that matter. The news that Harry Potter had fallen to the Dark forces had spread like wildfire around the wizarding community.

They had been working together with two others, Gabriel Ross and Cho Chang, as a team of Aurors. It had been a week ago; they had been raiding the house of a notorious Death Eater when they had been ambushed. The information they had been given was faulty; the team had interrupted a meeting of Death Eaters, 50 in all. Hermione was the only one who made it back to HQ alive.

People were beginning to throw dirt onto the coffin, everyone present was adding a handful. There were hundreds of people present; everyone Harry had ever helped had come to the funeral to say one last good-bye to one of the greatest heroes of all time, equal, some said, to Dumbledore, even though Harry only lived 28 years.

Someone was nudging Hermione. It was Arthur; it was her turn to throw in a handful.

She stepped forward to the edge of the pit and looked down. However, instead of bending down to pick up dirt to throw in, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand.

Clearing her throat, she began to speak.

"Ever since I was 11, I have been living in this world, fighting the dark forces. I can still remember sitting in the Library at Hogwarts with my two best friends, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, trying to find out who Nicholas Flamel was. Ever since I was in school I have lost people dear to me. When Cedric Diggory was killed in my 4th year, we were devastated. It was only the beginning. Since that day, it has been a steady stream of losses. Yes, there have been moments of happiness; yes, there have been victories; but at what cost? At the cost of innocent lives we have beaten back the Dark Forces. There were times when I didn't think I could go on, times when I just wanted to forget this war I was fighting in and live a normal, peaceful life. But I always had Harry and Ron to pull me forward, to remind me just why I was fighting, to give me happiness. They are both dead now; killed in front of me. I have seen both of them hit with the Killing Curse in front of my eyes while I stood by helpless. I cannot afford the cost of victory anymore; everything I have had to live for in this world is dead. As of this day, I resign my post as an Auror. As of this day, I resign my status as a witch."

_Snap_

Hermione took hold of her wand and broke it in two with a loud snap, sending a shower of red and gold sparks in the air. She threw the two halves of the wand on top of the coffin. Taking her daughter Lilith by the hand, she walked out of the graveyard towards her car, on her way to a new life.

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11 Years Later; New York City

Hermione sat at the kitchen table looking over her reports. She had enrolled in medical school when she and Lilith had moved to America and was currently a heart surgeon at Mt. Sinai Hospital, one of the largest hospitals in New York City, and far across town from the entrance to Kramer Alley, New York's version of Diagon Alley.

"Hey Mom," Lilith burst into the kitchen, she was now 15 years old and attending Muggle high school in the city. "Guess what? I got a perfect on my biology test!"

Lilith had inherited her mother's intelligence and motivation for hard work, along with her father's eyes, hair and sense of mischief. Sometimes when Hermione was particularly depressed, looking in her daughter's eyes made her cry.

Hermione had never told her daughter about anything. Not about magic, not about Hogwarts, not about the war, and especially not about Harry or Ron. The only sign of her previous life visible to Lilith was a small picture on the wall that had been taken in her 6th year at Hogwarts. It was a picture of the three of them; Hermione in the middle, flanked on either side by Harry and Ron who had their arms draped over her. She had told Lilith that they were wearing black robes and pointy hats because it was Halloween.

Lilith never asked about her mother's past; she learned quickly that questions along those lines usually ended with her being grounded and her mother weeping. Hermione cried less and less as time distanced her from that period in her life. Recently, at a reception for her colleagues, when someone asked who her husband was, noticing the wedding band Hermione still wore on her finger, Hermione didn't even get a lump in her throat as she usually did when she thought of Harry.

To be honest, she was relieved that she was able to distance herself from her past somewhat, though at times she felt disloyal when she wished she could just forget everything. That wasn't entirely true; she never would want to forget Harry, with his emerald eyes and ability to make her knees weak with just a few choice words. At times she could still hear him saying 'I love you'.

"Mom, earth to Mom, can you hear me?" Lilith was waving her hands in Hermione's face.

"Oh yes, sorry sweetie, I've had a long day in surgery," Hermione said, walking over to the refrigerator. "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"Oh I dunno, I think Donna is coming over for supper so can you make something that tastes good perhaps?"

Donna was the name of Lilith's best friend; they were inseparable, like she and Harry and Ron had been. But no, she couldn't let herself think those thoughts now; it had been 11 years for goodness sake and she a dinner to cook.

"Oh, I thought everything I cooked was good," Hermione said, sounding seemingly affronted.

"It is, just some things are gooder than others."

"Better than others, goodness Lilith. Where did you learn to speak?"

"Sorry, it must be that British accent of yours, getting me all confused with my grammar."

"Very funny, take off your shoes; I'm not cleaning the floor again."

Lilith dropped a pile of mail on the kitchen table, careful not to go through it. Hermione had never let her daughter go through the mail, in fear that a letter would come for her calling her to Hogwarts or its American equivalent. Even now, though Lilith's 11th birthday had come and gone and a letter was yet to arrive, it was still tradition that Hermione go through the mail. Hermione often wondered why a letter had never arrived for her daughter, but assumed that the Minister of Magic Arthur Weasley, or whoever his successor was, had taken her daughter's name off the list to save Hermione the pain. Either that, or Hogwarts had finally fallen to Voldemort. Hermione preferred to think her first instinct was correct.

_Knock Knock_

"I'll get it, it's probably Donna," Lilith ran over to the door to let in her friend.

"Hi Dr. Granger, what are you cooking? Smells good."

"Humph, did you hear that Lilith? Someone here appreciates my cooking."

"Yeah, Yeah, Mom, whatever, we'll be in my room, we need to work on a history project." Lilith and Donna ran off up the stairs.

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An hour later, everyone sat around the dinner table eating and chatting calmly. Calmly, that is, until Donna brought up the taboo topic.

"So, Lilith, my mom is inviting both sets of grandparents over this Saturday for Memorial Day. We're going to have a 'family outing'" Donna said, rolling her eyes, "you are so lucky you only have one set, they're your mom's parents, right?"

"Umm, yeah," Lilith tried motioning to Donna to change the topic, but Donna didn't notice.

"When did your other grandparents die? Did you ever know them?"

Hermione sat up straight in her chair and responded, "Lilith's father's parents died when he was one year old, neither him, nor I, nor Lilith has ever known them. Let's not talk about that now though, happy thoughts people, happy thoughts. So, how's your history project going?"

They continued with this innocent chatter until dinner was finished, when Donna said she had to go home. Lilith showed her to the door and was about to close the door when a cat walked up the path.

"Oh, poor little kitty, I'll give you some milk, come inside."

Hermione was at the sink washing the dishes when Lilith came back inside with the cat.

"Hey look Mom, look who I found outside. Can we keep her? Please?"

Hermione looked up to look at the cat, whom Lilith was waving in front of her face. The cat was a tabby cat, with curiously square markings around its eyes.

Hermione dropped the plate she was cleaning. It shattered on the floor.

"Minerva?" Hermione asked.

The cat nodded.

A/N: This is going to be a 6 part series, I have most of it written already so the chapters will come out fairly quickly. Special thanks to my beta-readers: Stella, elvenwren and E.J. Malfoy.

Please Review; I am not going to threaten not to continue with this series if I don't get enough reviews, but it is certainly a wonderful thing to get reviews.


	2. Come Home?

Hermione was at the sink washing the dishes when Lilith came back inside with the cat.

"Hey look Mom, look who was walking up the path, can we keep her? Please?"

Hermione looked up to look at the cat, whom Lilith was waving in front of her face. The cat was a tabby cat, with curiously square markings around its eyes.

Hermione dropped the plate she was cleaning. It shattered on the floor.

"Minerva?" Hermione asked.

The cat nodded.

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Hermione took a step backward, putting her hand on the countertop for balance.

"Mom, what's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost," Lilith said, rubbing the tabby between its ears.

"Lilith, put the cat down on the floor, don't touch that cat, you don't know where it's been. It could have fleas."

"Why did you say 'Minerva', Mom? It's a nice name, I suppose we could name the cat that, it seems to like it, I could have sworn it nodded."

"No, we will not be keeping this cat, this cat will be leaving NOW!" Hermione pushed the cat with her foot, trying to move it towards the door.

"Mom, don't kick the cat, that's horrible, it's just a cat, don't hurt it," Lilith said, looking 

upset and puzzled at her mother's frantic behavior.

"No I'm not," said a familiar voice from where the cat had been.

Standing in Hermione's kitchen was none other than Minerva McGonagall, looking the same as she did all those years ago when she had taught Hermione.

Hermione let out a small scream. "Get out of my house now, Minerva. You are not welcome in my home anymore." Hermione said sharply, opening to door in an attempt to throw Minerva out of her house.

"Mom, mom, what the hell happened, that lady, the cat, who is she, what…" Lilith said as she backed away from Minerva, confusion and terror written on her face.

No one answered. Minerva and Hermione were too busy glaring at each other.

"Of all the reactions I thought about when I decided to visit you, my best student ever, I never ever thought I would be met with this level of hostility. Hermione Potter, honestly." Minerva said, looking as if she wanted to follow this statement with points taken off Gryffindor.

"My name is Dr. Hermione Granger. I am a surgeon at Mt. Sinai. I do not ever want to see any of you again in my life, please leave me alone. Whatever you want you aren't going to get it. Just leave and do not ever mention the name Potter to me again."

"Whose Potter? Our last name is Granger." Lilith asked.

"Our last name is Granger, honey. I do not know what this lady is talking about," Hermione responded, still glaring at Minerva.

"Hermione," Minerva said sharply, "honestly, I take it from your untruthful response you haven't told your daughter anything."

"There is nothing to tell."

Minerva sighed. "This is going to be harder than I though, why don't we all have a seat and I'll explain why I came."

"No, there will be no sitting down, no explanations, you will just be leaving," Hermione was nearly shouting, "NOW!"

"What is going on? Who are you? Mom, what haven't you told me?" Lilith said, curiosity winning over her fear of this strange cat-woman.

"Has anyone every told you that you have your father's eyes?" Minerva said, turning to Lilith, "and his hair too, though I see you take more care in combing it than he did."

"Minerva, I will ask one last time, please get out of my house," Hermione moved over to the phone, "if you do not leave now I am calling the police and you can do whatever explaining you want to them."

"Hermione Potter, or Granger, whatever you are calling yourself, put down that phone and sit down at the table," Minerva said, pulling out a seat, "you will listen to what I have to say or you will be in severe trouble with the Ministry."

Hermione let out a soft sob, "Please Minerva, I'm begging you, just leave me and my daughter alone."

"I will be doing nothing of the sort, now sit down before I summon some less caring people to help me," a slight grin appeared on her face, "perhaps you would like Severus to help me explain why I came."

Hermione sat down at the table.

"Lilith, leave us alone and go to your room, do not listen in on our conversation."

"No, Hermione, your daughter needs to hear this too. She cannot live her life in ignorance of what her past is. I cannot believe that you have not told her about Harry."

"Who's Harry?" Lilith asked as she sat down at the table across from her mother who had her head cradled in her hands.

"That's your dad'd name; he was my husband," Hermione said, tears beginning to form in her eyes. Minerva waved her hand, summoning a red silk handkerchief, and handed it to Hermione.

"Is he the one in the photograph in the living room? Next to you and that red haired boy? You know the photo I'm talking about, Mom. The one with you three in those ridiculous robes and hats all dressed up for Halloween."

"I know what photograph you're talking about sweetie, and yes that's him."

"Why haven't you told me about this before?"

"That is a very long, complicated and depressing story. One you do not and will not be hearing tonight."

Minerva cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to explain why I came."

"My apologies, do continue," Hermione said, sounding not very sorry at all.

"Thank you," Minerva said, not put out by the hostility in Hermione's voice, "I'll start at the beginning. After you left our world, Hermione, the fight continued, albeit less successfully than before. Harry's death and your speech at the funeral disheartened many of us. We changed battle tactics. Instead of making many strikes, we planned carefully for a large showdown. We were planning for 8 years. After 8 years, we attacked. The battle that followed was successful; Voldemort was killed. Since then we have been rebuilding our society, beginning with tracking down all remaining Dark Arts practitioners. The Malfoys were all murdered along with scores of others and Knockturn Alley was closed. Finally, we feel that our world is safe enough to re-open the schools, many of which were closed down during the war or turned into safe-houses. Hogwarts itself was turned into the HQ for the Aurors and Enforcers about 7 years ago. Now we are reopening it, but we need staff. Many of our teachers are too old now to teach. Dumbledore has died; I am the new Headmistress. Remus Lupin has agreed to return to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts; Severus Snape will remain the Potions master; Sirius Black will be teaching Transfiguration; Fleur will be teaching Divination, and Neville Longbottom will be teaching Herbology, but will still have many open spots to fill. This is what I have come here to ask you about. Will you accept the position of Charms teacher and Head of Gryffindor House?" 

Hermione rubbed her hands over her face, sighing. "I don't suppose you came all this way to accept the simple, out-right refusal that I really want to give to you."

Minerva shook her head.

"Then give me time to think about it."

"Take all the time you need, don't worry, the school is not due to open until September."

Hermione stood up from the table and walked down the hall towards her bedroom.

"Okay, what the hell is going on? Would someone care to explain this to me?" Lilith demanded of Minerva.

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Hermione sat on the floor of her bedroom, half hidden inside her closet. In front of her was a large black trunk. On the top of it was stenciled a gold dragon above the words "Hermione J. Granger Potter". Thinking about those words brought a fresh wave of tears to Hermione's eyes; she could still remember Ron and Ginny 'fixing' the name on her trunk after they had discovered her and Harry in the broom shed celebrating Gryffindor's victory over Slytherin. She almost smiled as she remembered the looks on their faces when they had opened the door to the broom shed and found her and Harry lying on top of the pile of extra robes making out.

She opened the lid of the trunk and lifted out the hat resting on the top of the pile of books and robes. The hat was black, pointy on the top, circling the brim of the hat was a red silk sash, upon which was pinned a silver Head Girl badge, tarnished with age and dusty with neglect. Putting the hat in her lap, Hermione looked at the next object in her trunk and a lump rose in her throat.

She lifted out the maroon robes and held them to her face. On the back of them, painted in gold lettering, was printed the name 'Potter' above a large 'C'. They were Harry's old Quidditch robes; breathing deeply, Hermione could still smell Harry's sweat on them, but that might have just been her imagination. Burying her face in the heavy material, Hermione started to weep. The memories overpowered her; she had not opened the trunk since the day of his funeral, the memories she had tried so long to suppress flooded back into her memory. Harry, grabbing the Snitch after a long game; Harry, Ron, and her, sneaking around Hogwarts in the dark under the protector of the Invisibility Cloak; Harry, kissing her in the back of the greenhouse.

She had been sitting in her bedroom for about on hour, going through the trunk and thinking about Minerva's offer when she heard the door to her room open quietly.

"I explained everything to your daughter, Hermione," Minerva said, coming to sit on the bed behind Hermione. "I must admit, I thought she would at least know she was a witch." Disapproval of Hermione's decision to conceal the truth from Lilith was blatantly apparent in her voice.

Seeing Hermione's tearstained face and realizing that Hermione had been looking through her old school trunk, Minerva's tone softened. "We were worried about you, Hermione," Minerva said, putting her hands on Hermione's shoulders, "even Severus was concerned, as difficult as that might be to believe."

"Wh, wh, why?" Hermione asked. "I was living a fine life, if not the happiest one. Harry's dead, Minerva, what do I have to return for?"

"Everything, everything you ever fought for, everything Harry died for."

"No, you don't get it, Minerva! Everything I fought for died with Harry, including most of me." Hermione put Harry's robes back into her trunk. "You don't know how hard it was for me to go on, to keep living after his death. Every day I battled with the idea of suicide, every day I was alive was a victory. Every moment I lived I wondered what I was living for, and you know what? I never found out. I have been living the past 11 years hoping I could move on and forget the past; I never could, but I found I could live with it. I haven't contemplated suicide in nearly 3 years, Minerva, and now you come back, asking me to return? Why, Minerva, why? I haven't done magic in 11 years, surely there must be someone better qualified for the job."

Minerva sighed into her hands.

"Yes Hermione, you're right, there are better people qualified for the job; many people have applied, and yet I still came to offer it to you. Do you know why? Because you are the best student I have ever had, hands down. No one at Hogwarts could bear to think of you living as a Muggle, wasting your talents, and wasting your life. Yes, Harry is dead, but living as a Muggle isn't going to make that pain go away. Yes, you will mourn for Harry for the rest of your life; you two were in love, more than anyone two people I have ever seen in my life. But don't you want to make your memories of the wizarding world end happily, don't you want to be able to die knowing you have not been living in denial?"

Hermione sat down on the top of her school trunk and rubbed her eyes to clear her vision. They sat together in silence for nearly an hour. After an hour of silence Hermione stood up and opened her trunk. She bent down and took out her school hat, putting it on her head.

She turned to Minerva. "I'll accept the job, but only if you agree to call me Professor Potter, seeing as that is still my legal name, though I chose not to use it in everyday life"

Minerva turned to her best student, smiling broadly. Grasping her in a bone-crushing hug she said, "Welcome home, Hermione, welcome home."

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A/N: Thank you all so much for reviewing my last chapter, the response was overwhelmingly positive. Thank You. I hope you liked this chapter as much as the last one. The next one should be out in a few days (I'm trying to hurry with these, but I'm not going to rush at the sacrifice of quality). Happy Reading!

Reviewer List (don't YOU want your name here?): Katie D.; LC; bookworm; princessdoom; Nickzchick and Daydreamer; ~FleurHartz; L.C.; angelwriter; Michelle Ravel; Leap; Little Miss Magical; lil' libra; Hermione Granger; Ginny H. Potter; Anna Celeste; and Raina L.

Disclaimer: None of the people, places, or concepts named or mentioned in this story belong to me. Everything is the sole property of J.K. Rowling, her publish, and Warner Brothers. Please don't sue me; I mean no harm.


	3. Of Red Hair and Reunions

Hermione and Lilith sat on the plane, awaiting takeoff

A/N: Before I start the next chapter, I'd just like to thank everyone, again, for reviewing my story. The feedback I have gotten has been overwhelmingly positive and has really encouraged me to work hard on these stories (I don't want to let anyone down). There are going to be 5 chapters plus an epilogue; the chapters should be completed and ready to post by the end of this week (knock on wood!). If you are looking for another story to read, check out my other new fanfic entitled "The Potion Gone Wrong". It's a bit more lighthearted and humorous than this is and should be a good pick-me-up if this story is too depressing (although this chapter is nearly entirely happy). Have Fun! -Serafina

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Hermione and Lilith sat on the plane, awaiting takeoff. It was mid August; they were heading to England; Hermione, to return to the life she had long denied; Lilith, to enter a new world she had never known existed. Minerva and Hermione had explained everything to her, the magic, the wars, the fight against darkness, and Harry and Ron. Her mother had told her everything about her husband and her best friend, showing her the photo album Harry had of Lily and James and the photo album that Hermione had been given at her wedding by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

The album was a heavy white book with a large red heart on the front that flashed the phrases "Harry and Hermione" and "Together Forever". Frequently, while going through the photos which catalogued Hermione and Harry's life from the first year of Hogwarts until their marriage, Hermione had to pause to regain her composure.

For Lilith, the album had seemed foreign. Everything in it, from the moving pictures, to the castle, to the black haired boy with the scar on his forehead, was unfamiliar. She was scared, scared to enter the wizarding world, which had brought her mother so much pain and anguish.

"Please buckle your seatbelts, we will be taking off momentarily," the flight attendant's voice rang throughout the cabin.

The plane shuddered to life and began rolling down the runway, taking Hermione and Lilith to a foreign world, more foreign than any of the Muggles on the plane could imagine.

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As the plane flew through the sky, Hermione thought about how she would return to the magical community. Overblown entrances, _Daily Prophet_ headlines were definitely not the way to go. She, personally, merely wanted to appear in the front of the classrooms and let the children write their parents home about it. Minerva ruled this option out, reminding Hermione of the speed with which rumors spread at Hogwarts, and about the frequent inaccuracies in all of them.

Hermione decided that she would find a balance between these two extremes. After she and Lilith had settled into their temporary apartment in Hogsmeade where they would be living while Hogwarts was fixed up, she would send a letter to Arthur Weasley, inviting his entire family over for dinner. She doubted that they would accept the invitation, and she fully expected that Molly would show up at her door the minute she received the letter, dragging both her and Lilith to The Burrow.

"Mom," Lilith nudged her shoulder, "the pilot said we are getting ready to land soon."

"Good, I'm getting a little sore from all this sitting," Hermione said, grinning at her daughter.

"Umm, where did you say we were staying tonight? Some magical inn or something?"

"The Leaky Cauldron, it's a restaurant and inn in Diagon Alley, the magical area of London.

"Oh, I thought it was called Hogseed or something."

"No, we are just staying in London for a day or two so we can buy some supplies, like wands and robes, and then we should be moving into a small apartment in Hogsmeade, the only wizarding town in Britain. It's near Hogwarts."

"I see, what did you say we needed to buy?"

"Wands and robes, as well as books. Actually, I still have most of my books, Minerva added them to the Library at Hogwarts, but she is going to give them back to me."

"Robes?"

"Yes, wizards and witches wear robes. You will look incredibly out of place in jeans, darling, robes are actually quite fashionable."

"Like the robes you were wearing the photo album. Those dorky things? They look like something I would wear on Halloween."

"Well, you're going to have to wear them now, you haven't really got a choice."

Lilith sighed. She hoped the culture shock did not kill her.

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It was dark by the time the taxicab dropped them off at the corner of the block where the Leaky Cauldron was located. Holding onto Lilith with one hand and dragging her suitcase behind her with her other, Hermione started walking down the block.

Seeing the Leaky Cauldron in front of her, Hermione stopped, holding Lilith back as well. Up until this point, she hadn't really realized the full impact of what she was doing. Talking about magic and Hogwarts and Harry with Minerva and Lilith had been one thing, but actually entering the Leaky Cauldron meant no turning back. She would have to face all her old friends and enemies. She would have to talk to Remus, Sirius, Arthur, Molly, Charlie, Bill, Percy, Fred & George, Ginny, and everyone else. She would have to explain why she left for 11 years, leaving people to wonder if she were even still alive. Minerva had told her that the Weasley family knew she was alive, but did not know where she was or what she was doing with her life. Sirius and Remus, she had said, knew she was coming back to teach, as they would be teachers at Hogwarts themselves, but Hermione was nervous, terrified even, to see them again.

_Look what has happened_, Hermione thought to herself, _I'm afraid to face my old friends. 11 years ago I would have trusted any of them with my life, and now I'm too afraid to even face them. What has happened to me?_

But in her heart she knew what happened. Time. Time changed everything, there could be no changing what she had did, not that she fully regretted living as a Muggle all that time; the distance she had put between herself and magic had helped her rebuild her life, had helped her be able to live without constantly being reminded of Harry. 

_Here goes nothing_.

Hermione and Lilith stepped inside the Leaky Cauldron. It was the same as Hermione remembered it, the tables and the bar were the same as they were all those years ago when she had first come here, on a trip to buy school supplies.

_Life comes full circle, they always say, guess they're right, whoever they are._

Hermione walked up to the witch at the counter, praying she wouldn't be recognized. Even though her appearance had changed in the 11 years, her hair was shorter and her face was decidedly older and more wrinkled, she prayed that no one would notice her.

"One room for two nights please," Hermione said. "I'm sorry, but I haven't got a chance to change my money yet, just in from the U.S., do you accept American money?"

"No, but don't worry, you can pay tomorrow morning when you get a chance to go to Gringotts," the witch said, handing Hermione a key.

"Thank you so much. How much will the room cost?"

"Just 15 Galleons."

Hermione and Lilith picked up their suitcases and headed towards the staircase, Hermione keeping her head down. Reaching the top of the landing, Hermione headed down the hall, trying to find their room. It was the one at the end of the hallway; Hermione opened the door and went inside.

Lilith turned to the wall, feeling for a light switch and finding none.

"Hey Mom, where's the light?"

"Oh, right, there isn't one."

"WHAT!! No electricity, I thought this was London, for goodness sake."

"No, it's Diagon Alley, there is no electricity or telephones here."

"But, but, where does the light come from? Does everyone just go to sleep when the sun sets?"

"Don't be condescending, darling, just because there's no electricity doesn't mean wizards are backward rustics. We are actually quite advanced, much more so than Muggles in certain respects. There just aren't any electronics."

"Fine, fine, sorry, wizards might be more advanced than Muggles, but it's still dark in this room and I can't find my pajamas in the dark."

Hermione felt her way over to the desk in the room and opened the drawer, pulling out a candle. She handed it to Lilith.

"Just put that in the holder on that nightstand, honey, that ought to do it."

"One candle, that's it? I'll barely be able to read by its light, and where are the matches, how am I supposed to light it?"

"You aren't, just put it in the holder and you'll see," Hermione grinned, recalling her first experience with the lighting system at the Leaky Caldron.

Lilith put the candle in its holder and the room suddenly lit up.

"What the.." Lilith stared at the candle.

"It's a simple combination of charms, a Room-Lighting and a Matchless Igniting charm. They were put on the holder and the candle so that guests who were staying here wouldn't have to go by the light of their wands at night."

"Right, simple, of course. Sorry for being rude, I've got a lot to learn about this magic stuff, I guess."

"Don't fret about it honey. I managed to do it quite fine, but no more chatter, it's time to sleep. You had a long day today, and tomorrow will be even longer."

Lilith walked over to the mirror to take out her contact lenses; she had also inherited her father's vision along with her eyes.

"Lovely eyes you've got there, deary."

Lilith jumped back a few feet, "Who said that? Mom?"

"No, it was me" said the mirror, sounding like what one would imagine a grandmother to sound like.

"Oh, of course, talking mirrors. Why didn't I guess?" Lilith said sarcastically. "What's next, talking pictures, they already move."

Hermione had come out of the bathroom just in time to catch Lilith's last comment.

"Of course portraits talk, what until we get to Hogwarts, I'll introduce you to the Fat Lady and her friend Violet. Maybe Sir Cadogan will even be there, but I think someone has probably thrown him into the lake by this time," Hermione said, lying down in bed and putting out the candle.

Lilith just sighed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stepping into Diagon Alley, Hermione was assaulted on all sides by memories. Memories of eating ice cream with Harry and Ron, memories of getting Crookshanks, who was long since deceased, memories of the brawl that broke out in Flourish and Blotts between Arthur and Lucius. Shaking her head, as if to clear it of these thoughts, she and Lilith walked briskly to the gleaming white building that still dominated the Alley.

Seeing how crowded Diagon Alley was on this summer day, Hermione pulled her hat down on her head firmly and put on her pair of sunglasses.

As she walked up the steps, Hermione raised her hand in greeting to the goblin that guarded the door.

"Mom," Lilith tugged on Hermione's sleeve, "what is that thing?"

"It's a goblin, they guard Gringotts."

"Oh, it's kinda ugly."

"Shh Lilith, do not ever insult any magical being, beast, or human, you never know what kind of magic they can use against you."

Walking through the heavy brass doors, Hermione moved towards the row of counters, keeping her head down to avoid being noticed by the witches and wizards who were going about their business. Lilith moved more slowly, taking in all of the amazing things she was seeing. The goblins, writing on pads of parchment in front of them, the owls that kept swooping in and out of the windows at the top of the ceiling, the hundreds of doors that lined the walls, all leading to who knows where.

"Come on Lilith, follow me," Hermione called to her daughter, who was busy watching a wizard walk in carrying some sort of creature that looked like a cross between a bowling ball and a pillow.

Hermione and Lilith followed the goblin that was leading them, walking down a narrow passage that led to the cart. Piling in, the goblin muttered a few words and the cart shot forward, leaving Lilith holding on for dear life.

Careening madly around and between stalagmites and stalactites, the cart dashed downwards, carrying with it the goblin and two passengers. Finally coming to a stop in front of a vault, Hermione and Lilith got out.

Hermione put the key into the keyhole and pulled open the door, revealing piles upon piles of gold and silver.

"Wow," Lilith said in awe, "I never realized we were so rich."

"Well, we are, most of this was Harry's, left to him by his father, but a fair amount was from my salary. I haven't been here since I left, and the interest has really accumulated."

Hermione pulled out two money bags and filled them both with Galleons, Sickles and Knuts, hardly making a dent in the large piles of coins. She tucked both bags safely inside her purse and got back into the cart with Lilith.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Standing back outside Gringotts, Hermione looked around the changes in Diagon Alley from when she had last visited. Most of the stores were the same, Quality Quidditch Supplies remained, as did Flourish and Blott's, Madam Malkin's, Eeyops Owl Emporium and Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. From her position on the top of the Gringott's steps, Hermione could watch the various magical people as they went about their business.

She could see families eating ice cream together, laughing happily; she could see old wizards searching the top shelves of Flourish and Blott's, using self-levitation spells to reach the books. Her eyes drifted over to Knockturn Alley, expecting to see the usual collection of shady looking characters, the type that in her previous life as an Auror she wouldn't have turned her back to.

Instead, however, Knockturn Alley was gone. She vaguely remembered Minerva mentioning that at some point, but she had never told Hermione what had replaced it. Motioning to Lilith, they walked down the steps and headed towards the old Knockturn Alley. In its place was a corridor of white marble that seemed to glow in the sunlight. The ground was covered in large silver tiles. Walking through the corridor, Hermione noticed that carved into the white marble and the silver tiles were words.

"Hey Mom, what's this?" Lilith asked, running her finger over the words.

"I don't know, this is new, I've never seen this before."

Hermione squinted at the words carved into the marble. They weren't words she realized; they were names.

_Maria Bones_

Patrick Bones

Frank Longbottom

With a start, Hermione realized what this white corridor was.

"Lilith," Hermione said, turning towards her daughter who was looking at the names, "this is a memorial, probably in honor of all the witches and wizards who lost their lives fighting the dark forces."

"But, Mom, look how long this is, there must be hundreds or thousands of names here," Lilith said, confused. "How many people could have died?"

Hermione looked at her daughter's face.

"Now, you understand perhaps, what drove me to leave this world," Hermione was speaking very softly; Lilith had to strain to hear her.

Lilith nodded. "Mom, wouldn't Dad's name be here?"

Hermione looked down at her feet, her vision getting blurry. She noticed the words on the silver tile she was standing on.

_Ronald Weasley_

"The Best Son, Brother, or Friend Anyone Could Ever Wish For"

In honor of Ron, who was murdered in Hogsmeade by a Death Eater. The highest praise goes to Ron, who died to save the life of his best friend, Harry Potter. We miss you.

Tears began to fall from Hermione's eyes. Leaning against the white wall, she buried her face in her light jacket. Lilith put her arms around her mother, hugging her close.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

An hour or so later, Hermione and Lilith exited the corridor, refreshed.

"So, Lilith, your choice, what do you want to get first?"

"A wand, absolutely, a wand."

"I agree, I need to buy one as well," Hermione grinned, "though I doubt Mr. Ollivander will 

be too thrilled with how I treated my last one."

They entered Mr. Ollivander's store, Maker of Fine Wands since 382 BC. Lilith once again was amazed by the interior, by the thousands of boxes lining the walls of the narrow and shabby shop. Hermione stood nervously, holding onto the back of the chair.

"Greetings, greetings, good afternoon, my name is Mr. Ollivander, how may I help you?" Mr. Ollivander seemed to Apparate into the middle of his shop, his silver eyes gleaming as he looked over his customers. Looking at Hermione's eyes which were hidden behind her sunglasses, a flash of recognition passed over his face.

"Ms. Granger, I believe. What a pleasure to see you again, it's been a long time since you were in these parts. I take it you and your daughter, Lilith is it?, need new wands. Well, I'll just be needing your daughter's measurements."

He gestured with his hand and his magic tape measure began measuring Lilith. Mr. Ollivander himself began scuttling around the room, selecting various boxes from the shelves.

"Hermione, we'll just be starting with you, it will be easier as you are already attuned to the use of a wand, now just try this one."

He put a wand into her hand and immediately her arm began to tingle pleasantly just as purple and silver sparks shot out of the end.

"Perfect, perfect," Mr. Ollivander clapped his hands together, "9'', unicorn hair and cherry wood, the same as your old wand."

"Thank you sir," Hermione said as she handed the money to Mr. Ollivander. "Would you mind if I tried some quick spells; I haven't done any magic in 11 years."

"Oh no, not at all, not at all, I'll just fit Lilith to a wand while you practice."

Hermione opened her purse, pulling out a pen. Mumbling a few words to herself, she levitated the pen a few feet in the air before tapping it, turning it into a white hamster. The hamster looked around itself wildly, wondering what happened to the ground, but before it had a chance to get its bearings, it was a pen again.

Lilith clapped.

"Nice work Mom, that's so cool, do you think I could do that?"

"Not yet, darling, not yet," Hermione said, laughing as she tucked her new wand into a pocket of her robes, "it'll take a while before you get to that level of Transfigurations."

Meanwhile, Mr. Ollivander was trying a large selection of various wands, none of them suiting him. Muttering to himself, he scrambled around the store, reaching to the far back of shelves to find wands he had not yet tried on Lilith.

"Ebony and unicorn, no, try this, willow and phoenix, not that one either, maple and dragon heartstring, still no."

Just then, Mr. Ollivander jumped up and ran into the back of his shop, coming back with a battered white case containing just one wand.

"Now, just try this, I think it might.."

Mr. Ollivander was cut off as a large burst of gold sparks exploded from the end of the wand.

"I though that might be the one."

"What is so special about that wand, it doesn't look unique," Hermione took the wand into her hands, examining it.

"Oh, it isn't anything special, as far as wands go, but in your family I believe it carries a fair amount of significance."

Hermione and Lilith looked at him inquisitively.

"You see, ladies, that wand is holly and phoenix."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They completed their shopping for the day, Lilith thrilled at all her new belongings, and Hermione thrilled that no one had recognized her, though she had attracted a few second glances from the older wizards and witches.

Hermione and Lilith were sitting in the Leaky Cauldron at the corner table, Hermione with her back to the crowd.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"What did that weird guy in the wand shop mean when he said my wand was holly and phoenix. Why should that matter?"

Hermione sighed, "Your father's wand was holly and phoenix, as was Voldemort's."

"Does that mean I have the same wand they did?"

"No, not at all, the feather in your wand comes from a different phoenix than theirs did."

"Oh, that's kinda cool that I have the same type of wand as Dad did."

"Yeah, it is kinda cool," Hermione smiled slightly.

They finished eating and Hermione went to pay the bill. She began chatting with the witch at the counter, who, it turns out, was from Norway, while Lilith sat on a chair, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Hey Mom," Lilith called. "Can I go take a walk around, it's so nice outside."

"Sure, have fun, but be back in an hour, I'll be in our room doing some work."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Lilith sat on a bench in the middle of Diagon Alley, holding her new wand in her hands, watching the people go by. Diagon Alley, Lilith had decided, was the best place for people-watching. She had already seen an old warlock walking down the street carrying what appeared to be a mutant ostrich, as well as a fair number of boys her age who were marveling at the broomsticks in the window of one of the shops.

Although she had spent her entire day in the Alley, she was still amazed by it. The shops lined the way selling things she had never known existed. She decided to take a closer look at some of the shops she had missed before. Walking around a corner, she noticed a small shop hidden between two larger ones. She had not come down this way before with her mother; Lilith doubted that her mother even knew these shops were here. Lilith opened the door to the smaller shop. As she closed the door behind her something squawked loudly.

The walls were lined with open boxes and displays, selling such things as Dungbombs and Canary Creams.

_Cool, what are these things? Mom didn't mention anything like this_

"Can I help you with anything?" A girl Lilith's age stood behind her. The girl had bright red hair and freckles and looked vaguely familiar.

"Oh no, I'm just looking, what are these things?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, what are Canary Creams, is this a bakery?"

The girl laughed. "No, this is a joke shop, those are pastries that turn the eater into a canary for a few minutes, my dad and uncle invented them."

"Awesome, that sounds so cool. Sorry if I seem a little confused by all this magic, I was 

raised a Muggle, my mom was a witch, but she never told me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the girl's eyes widened. "A Muggle? You lived as a Muggle? That's awesome, did you have a telly vizin."

"A what?"

"A telly vizin, you know, the talking Muggle box."

Lilith looked at the strange girl for a few moments before she realized what the girl was talking about. "Oh, a television. Yes, of course we did, all Muggles do."

"Cool, I like studying Muggle things. My grandpa, he used to be the Minister of Magic, and I like learning about all those electricity thingamabobs. It annoys my grandmother to no end, my grandfather is great at it though, he even made his car fly once."

"Fly? That's so cool, I wish my mom's car could fly, it would help a lot in traffic jams."

"I could show it to, if you want," the girl stuck out her hand, "my name's Celia, by the way."

"I'm Lilith," the two girls shook hands.

"Lilith, hmm, do I know you from somewhere?" Celia asked, examining Lilith's face.

"I don't think so," Lilith said. "I've lived in New York City from when I was 5 and I've been living as a Muggle."

"Oh, what about before you were 5?"

"I lived in the magical world, but my mom never really talked about it so I don't remember anything much. I barely even remember my dad."

"Why not? I can remember some thing from when I was younger than 5, that's why I think I remember you from somewhere."

"I'm not really sure, my mom said it was a really difficult time in the magical world and then my dad died. I think it's called repression or something, when someone forgets bad memories."

"Oh," Celia replied, "hey, do you want to go out for a walk? It's my cousin's turn to watch the store."

"Sure, why not?"

Celia ran to the counter, hitting the bell. An older boy, who looked to be about 20, came out of the back room holding a wand. The boy was wearing a pair of goggles to protect his eyes, when he took them off he looked like a raccoon; there was smoke all on his face except where the goggles had been. He also had red hair, but Lilith couldn't tell if he had freckles or not, there was too much smoke to see his skin.

"Hey, James, I'm going to go out for a walk." Celia reached for a cloak hanging on the wall. "This means you have to watch the store."

"Fine, I'll just clean up the workroom."

Celia laughed. "Why bother? My dad never does."

"I know, and that's why I can never find anything."

"Suit yourself."

Lilith and Celia exited the store and walked down the Alley.

"So, Celia, what's your favorite place here?" Lilith asked.

"Hmm, I like the joke shop a lot, but the Magical Menagerie is also great."

"I know, my mom and I bought an owl there this morning."

"Sweet, what kind was it?"

"A great big snowy white owl, my mom named it Hedwig Jr."

"Why Junior, who was the original?"

"I have no clue, it might have been her first owl though."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An hour later, Lilith and Celia headed back to the Leaky Cauldron so Lilith wouldn't be late.

"Hey, Celia, before I go, can I ask you one last question?"

"What is it? If I know the answer, I'll tell you."

"Okay, what is that white corridor? My mom said it was a memorial, but do you know anything more about it?"

Celia sighed. "Yes, I do. It was built after the war to honor all those who had died fighting 

this war and every war in the past. The Minister of Magic at the time, my grandfather, had the idea to build it after he went to America and saw something like it there."

"Yeah, I thought it looked like the Vietnam Memorial."

"Right, that's the one. Anyway, it's called the Road of Heroes."

"What are the silver tiles for?"

"Those are special. Only people who got special honors have their names on them."

"Special honors? What are those?"

"They were given to active soldiers or civilians who died to protect others or to people who were killed because they refused to give away classified information."

"I see."

Just then the reached the Leaky Cauldron. Celia was going to hang out for a bit with Lilith because she was waiting for her aunt, who lived in Hogsmeade, to come pick her up. Celia was going to visit her aunt, uncle and little baby cousin who was only 3 years old. Lilith and Celia sat down on some of the navy poof chairs in the lounge area.

"What's your aunt like?" Lilith asked. She had never had any relatives of her own except her mother and grandparents and she loved to hear about other people's family.

"Well, she's really cool. Her name's Virginia, but everyone calls her Ginny, she's a reporter for the _Daily Prophet_"

"The _Daily Prophet_? What's that?"

"Oh, it's the name of the wizarding newspaper. My aunt Ginny writes the weekly commentary on what the Ministry did that week."

"Sounds fascinating," Lilith said sarcastically.

"I know it sounds boring, but she gets to interview all these people and travel a lot."

"Well, I guess that makes it a little bit better. You said she was married, right? What's your uncle do?"

"Oh, well, Uncle Nev used to be an Auror, that's what we call people who fight against the Dark Forces, but I think he's going to teach at Hogwarts next year."

"What subject? I think my mom's going to teach there too"

"Probably Herbology, they have this awesome garden in the back of their house. What about your mom?"

"Charms, I think she's also going to be the head of the Gryffindor House."

"Wow, that's really cool, what did you say your mom's name was again?"

Just then, Celia was interrupted by Hermione, who had just come downstairs looking for Lilith.

"Lilith," Hermoine called, "where in the world have you been, you're half an hour late."

"Calm down Mom, geez, I'm 15 years old I can take care of myself, there's no need to be paranoid."

Hermione glared at her daughter, but was distracted by Celia running to the door to hug her aunt who had just arrived.

"Oof, Celia, calm down" Ginny said, taking a step backwards after being hugged by Celia, "It's nice to see you too, dear."

Hermione was staring at the woman who had just walked in through the door.

"Hey, guess what?" Celia asked her aunt. "I met a new friend today, she's going to Hogwarts too."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Lilith."

Ginny turned to look at Lilith, but was distracted by the woman standing a little behind her. Ginny opened and closed her mouth several times, having been rendered speechless by the shock. "Hermione? Is it really you?" Ginny asked, wrapping her arms around her long lost friend.


	4. Coward? Of Course Not!

Lilith pointed to the table where Fred and George were sitting

Celia and Lilith stared at the adults, confusion written on their faces.

"Wait a minute Lilith. Your mom is Hermione Potter?" Celia asked her friend incredulously.

"Yeah, but she's always called herself Granger," Lilith answered. "Anyway, what's so special about that."

"You don't know?"

"Know what?" Lilith asked, throwing her hands up into the air, "good god, it feels that everyone knows more about everything than I do."

"Your parents were two of the most famous wizards in our entire history."

"Well, I knew they were famous, but I didn't know that." Lilith said. "Wow, were they really?"

"Absolutely, they were also honorary Weasleys."

"Huh?"

"My grandparents gave them honorary membership into the large Weasley clan since neither of them really had parents. Well, your mom has parents, but they're Muggles."

"Wait a sec, if our families are really close, wouldn't I have known you." Lilith asked, "I did live in the magical world until I was 5, I told you that earlier."

"Actually, I think I did know you earlier. I didn't recognize you because you look a lot different from when you were 5, but I remember that I was good friends with Harry's daughter."

"So why didn't you remember my name?"

"Oh, I do now, but it wasn't on the top of my mind when I first met you. We don't talk about you often, in fact, talking about your family is a kinda taboo topic at family reunions, seeing as it usually makes everyone start to cry."

"Oh, what great news," Lilith said cynically.

"Yeah, it's really annoying, there are so many things that we aren't supposed to talk about at family reunions that it gets very very hectic, more so than one would expect with 50 wizards and witches gathered in one place, even when a large part of the family runs a practical joke shop."

Lilith laughed. "Wow, 50 relatives, how are there so many?"

"Well, I have 4 uncles, one aunt, one father, one mother, two grandparents, 10 cousins…"

"Yeah, I get the picture."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, Ginny had dragged Hermione off to a table in the corner, refusing to let go of her. They were talking, holding hands (actually, more like Ginny had a death grip on Hermione's arms), about where Hermione had been for the past 11 years.

"You were living in New York?" Ginny asked.

"Yes, I was resident doctor at one of the hospitals there."

"Why?"

"Well, I wanted to dedicate my life to saving others. I'd had my fair share of death."

"No, I mean, why New York?"

"Oh, I don't really know. I wanted to get out of England, and I'd never been to the U.S. so I decided to go there. I wasn't really thinking clearly at that time."

"So I noticed," Ginny said dryly. "Actually, we had a Weasley family meeting about whether or not to track you two down and drag you back home."

"I take it you decided not to."

"Actually, we still haven't decided. Fred and George figured that when you were ready to come home, you would, and they threatened to hex anyone who tried to find you."

"Well, I'm grateful to them."

"Why did you come back then? You certainly didn't tell any of us about it."

"It wasn't entirely my decision, Minvera McGonagall showed up at my house in late May offering me a job at Hogwarts teaching Charms and heading Gryffindor House. We talked for a long time about it and she convinced me to give it a try."

"Fantastic, Neville, you remember, my husband?"

"Of course I remember that you and Neville are married, I was your maid of honor. How could I forget that?"

"Just checking, anyway, he's going to be teaching Herbology. We have a house in Hogsmeade."

"Really? Lilith and I are going to go there once I find an apartment."

"Don't bother looking, Fred and George have a space above their joke shop they recently opened there, you two can stay there until school opens in 2 weeks. I take it you will be living at Hogwarts, right?"

"Of course, you think Minerva managed to run to Hogwarts that quickly from Hogsmeade to tell us to go to sleep when we were making too much noise?"

Ginny chuckled. "You've got a point there."

"I must admit though, I'm horribly nervous about all this coming home business. I still hadn't decided how to tell your family I was back. I was debating sending your parents a letter but everytime I sat down to write it, I chickened out.

"Why? What were you scared we would do?"

"I really don't know. I wasn't sure if you all would be mad at me for leaving for 11 years. I though you might think I was leaving because I was unwilling to fight and was now only coming back because it was safe."

"How could we ever think of you like that? Hermione, chicken out of a fight? Who was it who turned Malfoy into a snake and tied him around the top of the Quidditch goalpost during our 6th year when he insulted Neville? Who was it who was the one who motivated the rest of your Auror team whenever they were getting cold feet? Who was the one who didn't let Harry have a nervous breakdown after Ron's death?"

"Yeah, but you forgot one."

"What?"

"Who was it who sat still while Ron took that curse for Harry?"

Ginny stared Hermione in the eye. "I promise you that no one in my, no, our family has ever ever thought that about you. We have never resented the fact that you and Harry lived while Ron didn't."

"I know, I know," Hermione said, "but I couldn't bring myself to write that letter to Arthur, I was afraid I would die if that were the case."

"You wouldn't die, Hermione, even if that were the case, which it isn't. You are the strongest person I know of."

"No I'm not, I ran away from my problems, I ran away for 11 years."

Ginny sighed. "Hermione, my entire family supported your actions, we all thought that was the right thing for you to do if it was you wanted."

Hermione looked at Ginny quizzically. "Why?"

"You and Harry were the happiest couple I have ever seen. I never knew anyone more in love than you two. Do you remember your wedding?"

"Of course, how could I forget? It was the happiest day of my life."

"Well, do you remember what Sirius did?"

"He did a lot of things, not all of which were entirely appropriate for a man of his age."

"I'm talking about a specific incidence."

"Which one?"

"Remember when the minister asked the obligatory question requesting that if anyone had any reasons why you two shouldn't be married they should stand up now? Remember what Sirius said when he stood?"

Hermione began to grin.

"He said that you two shouldn't get married because you were too in love with each other and that anything that makes a person as deliriously happy as you two obviously were is usually a highly illegal and controlled substance."

Hermione laughed, a grin on her face. "Of course I remember that, and them Remus pulled him back down remarking that Sirius must be right, as Sirius was the expert on those sort of controlled and highly illegal substances."

Ginny starting laughing as well. After she regained her composure, she continued. "Anyway, my point was that you had just lost your most favorite thing in your life and you needed time away, time to yourself, time removed from anything that would make you unhappy." Ginny grimaced. "Now, no one in my family thought it would take 11 years, but we knew you were still alive and we didn't want to drag you back to a place you obviously didn't want to be."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hermione and Ginny talked into the wee hours of the morning, long after Lilith and Celia had gone up to Lilith's room to sleep, long after the bartender had gone to bed. The room was dark except for the light thrown by Hermione's wand. They were practicing every charm they could think of, trying to get Hermione back into practice for teaching.

"Phew, Hermione," Ginny said, leaning on the table, breathing heavily. "I really doubt you're going to need to be teaching your classes all those charms and hexes you learned in Auror Training. You're supposed to be teaching them how to levitate feathers and stuff like that, not how to kill or torture each other."

"I know, I'm not practicing these things for teaching, I'm practicing them for self-defense."

"Really, Hermione, times have changed, there isn't any dark force any more. I highly doubt that there will even be any Slytherins."

"There might not be any organized dark force, but it only takes one crazy. You're married to Neville, remember his parents. They were attacked after Voldemort fell."

"No, Hermione, things are very very different. There are no more life sentences in Azkaban, not even any sentences above 15 years," Ginny said, "if anyone committed a crime that deserved those types of sentences, they are killed."

Hermione sat down, staring at her wand, deep in thought. "I guess so, but I just wanted to prove to myself that I can still do all that, that I can still defend myself."

"Trust me, you can," Ginny said, "but now we need to talk about more practical matters. How are you going to be reintroduced to the rest of my family?"

"Oh, please no overblown entrances. How about I just walk into Fred and George's joke shop and say 'Hi, it's me, nice to see you again'?"

"Absolutely not, they'd probably faint," Ginny said, "besides, it's been eleven years for god's sake Hermione, we need a better entrance plan than that!"

"So what do you suggest?"

"We'll go with your original idea of a letter, but I'll help you write it so you can't chicken out, not that you have any reason to anyway." Ginny's tone of voice left no room for debate.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An hour and a entire pad of parchment later, Hermione and Ginny had the letter they were going to send in the morning to the Weasley family, using Hermione's new owl, Hedwig Jr. Ginny cleared her throat and began to read the final copy.

"Ahem, Dear Arthur and Molly (Mum and Dad), You may not believe this letter, but I guarantee that it is not a hoax, everything here is absolutely true. I am sitting the Leaky Cauldron right now, penning this letter to you on behalf of none of than Hermione. I came here earlier this evening to pick up Celia to come stay with Neville and me in Hogsmeade, as you know, only to find that earlier that day she had met Lilith Potter in Diagon Alley. Naturally, Hermione and I have been talking for nearly 6 consecutive hours. She was unsure how to reintroduce herself to the wizarding community, so I am writing this letter to you informing you of her return. If you don't mind, Mum, she and Lilith will come to dinner this Sunday. Neither of them is really ready to see everyone again, so can we just keep it to you two, Hermione, Lilith, Celia and I? Love, Ginny and Hermione" Ginny finished reading and put the letter on the table, sealing it and addressing it to The Burrow. After tying to the owl's leg, she opened a window and let it fly out into the night.

"Oh god, I'm so nervous. I know it's a completely unreasonable fear, but it's still there," Hermione said, running a hand through her hair. "Are you still in contact with Remus and Sirius, by the way, they're going to be teaching with me at Hogwarts, according to Minerva."

"Yes, on and off. They are closer to my parents naturally, but we get together for dinner occasionally."

"Are they both still living the life of a single wizard?"

"Of course, Sirius hasn't been in a serious affair, pardon the pun, for a few years and Remus has had a few relationships with various witches, who have all abandoned him when they realized he was a werewolf."

"That's horrible, how close minded could they be?"

"I know, it's a real shame since he's such a wonderful person. I think he's currently seeing a Muggle, believe it or not. Her name's Nellie; she knows he's a wizard, but I don't think he's told her about the whole werewolf thing yet."

"Hmm, a Muggle. He probably should tell her about it, she won't have all the misconceptions that most witches would."

"I suppose, but he's too afraid he'll lose her to tell her."

"Yeah, I see his point," Hermione said, "and anyhow, I'm really not the one to be giving romantic advice, I'm still wearing my dead husband's wedding ring."

Ginny looked Hermione in the eye. "Hermione, as long as you still love Harry, he's still alive."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On Sunday evening, Hermione and Lilith took Floo Powder to Ginny's apartment in Hogsmeade, dressed in their nicest dress robes, which turned out to be a big mistake. Lilith had never used Floo Powder before, and Hermione was sorely out of practice. They ended up landing on Ginny's floor convered in soot, coughing madly.

Once they had both been cleaned off, thanks to the charms Ginny and Hermione knew for these circumstances, Ginny, Hermione, Lilith, and Celia all piled into Ginny's old stations wagon. Neville and Ginny had been out to lunch with Hermione the day before since Neville was going to be busy this evening wrapping he his old job as an herbologist for the Ministry, in order to start teaching at Hogwarts soon.

Ginny's station wagon, though from the outside appeared to be a beat-up 1987 Ford with the multiple layers of different shades of blue paint chipping off the fenders, was a beautiful car inside. The Department for the Misuse of Muggle Items had loosened up its rules a bit since Arthur first charmed his Ford Anglia. Now, witches and wizards were permitted to charm Muggle items so long as the charms were not harmful and the item was registered with the Ministry. Thanks to these new rules, Ginny's car had been turned into a work of art. Arthur and Celia had taken it upon themselves to research, design, and fix up Ginny's car. The result was an interior that somewhat resembled a psychedelic limousine.

The red velvet benches were arraigned in a circle with a table in the middle that had a water dispenser on it. Instead of seatbeats there were adhesion charms on the benches so that one could not leave their seats without saying the proper charm. The driver's console was equally remarkable, instead of the driver needing to drive, they could merely say the name of the place they wanted to go to and the car would go; the driver's only responsibility was to press the gas or the brake. And of course the car was equipped with flying and invisibility charms; such things were standard on magical cars these days.

"Wow, Ginny, your mum must have had a heart attack when they changed the rules," Hermione said, running her hand over the red velvet seat.

"Yeah, nearly, but I think she was relieved that at least now Dad wouldn't be forced to arrest himself if he decided to raid his garage," Ginny replied, swerving to avoid a cat in the road.

Hermione laughed, recalling how the interior of the Weasley garage usually looked like a Radio Shack after someone dropped a bomb in it, with bits and pieces of various mechanical and electrical devices strewn across the tables and floor.

After a relatively brief car ride, they arrived at The Burrow. It looked just as Hermione had remembered it, except the garden was a bit larger now that Molly had more time with all 7 kids out of the house, for better or for worse. The front add-on still looked like it would have fallen off long ago had it not been for stabilizing charms.

Walking up the front door, Hermione barely had a chance to lift the knocker when the door was thrown open by Molly Weasley who grabbed Hermione around the waist and gave her a huge hug that threatened to break a few ribs. Hermione noticed that Molly was crying.

Returning the hug, Hermione said, "I'm glad to see you again Mrs. Weasley."

Disentangling herself, Molly replied, "Oh Darling, you can call me Molly, I think you're old enough now. Don't you?" Molly tried in vain to inconspicuously dab at her eyes.

Arthur came forward and stuck out his hand to shake Hermione's before reconsidering and pulling her into another hug, albeit less fierce than Molly's had been.

"We're glad you came back, Hermione. We were starting to think you might never," Arthur said.

"I might not have, had it not been for Minerva. I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I'm grateful."

"So are we," Molly said, bustling about the kitchen finishing preparations for dinner. It appeared as if Molly had prepared for the entire Gryffindor House by the number of pots and pans sitting on the stove and floating in the air above magical fires.

Arthur led everyone out into the garden, where he and Molly had set out the picnic tables. It was a lovely evening, the moon was nearly full, its light spilling over the tables, rendering the floating candles superfluous, yet beautiful.

Sitting down at the tables, Hermione had a flashback to the summer before her fourth year at Hogwarts when the entire family, all 9 of them at the time, including her and Harry, had eaten outside in the very same garden, probably off these very same tables.

"Is something wrong, Mom?" Lilith asked, noticing that Hermione had gotten the detached look on her face that she usually did whenever she was thinking about something sad.

Snapping out of her daze, Hermione responded, "Oh, no honey, but thanks for asking. Could you please pass that treacle pudding on the other side of you? It looks delicious."

The rest of the evening passed in a haze of friendship and memories; not once did Hermione cry, surrounded as she was by friends whom she had sorely missed for 11 years, though she had never admitted it to herself.

A/N: Whew, the end of another chapter. Yea!!!! I hope you all liked this chapter; if you did….REVIEW!!!! Thank you.

Reviewer List (Thank You All So Much): Daydreamer; Crystal; Ginny H. Potter; tochi; Michelle Ravel; Emily; Stacy; No-I-Don't-Know-Who; Leap; UNO; Jade; Johna; Orion Black; Morgaince of the Fae; me; ~Trista~; Harry'sLostSister; Mari; Lily Potter; Lily Vance; Katie D.; Thunder Angel; Landry Anne; twist; Dark Crystal; Yushia; Cho Chang; Gwen D.; Hermione L. Granger; stark-raving-loony; Raina L.; Ana Celeste; Hermione Granger; lil' libra; Little Miss Magical; angelwriter; L.C.; ~FleurHartz~; Nickzchick and Daydreamer; princessdoom; and bookworm.

Special Thanks to my beta-readers elvenwren (you are fantastic) and Stella (need I say more?)


	5. Don't Look Back

Hermione and Lilith returned to the Leaky Cauldron later that evening the happiest they had been all week. Dinner at the Weasley's had filled both their stomachs with food and their hearts with joy. Hermione especially was decidedly more relaxed after dinner. The evening had passed without any snafus, save one.

Flashback to Earlier that Evening

Molly had been showing Hermione and Lilith how they had changed the Burrow after all the kids had moved out. They were a few floors up, on the floor that used to have some of the bedrooms but which was now a mixture of offices, storage, and rooms for grandchildren. Molly had showed them all the rooms, except the one at the end of the hall. Lilith, noticing this, had gone into the room and opened the door. When she had shouted to the adults in the hallway, asking what room it was, Hermione, Ginny and Molly had come running.

The room hadn't changed since Hermione's 6th year, the last time she had been in the room. The Chudley Cannons wallpaper was still up, though a bit yellowed around the edges. Along the wall were still the old posters of Ron's favorite players zipping around on their broomsticks. Stacked in the corners were old textbooks and old school robes hung in the closet, protected by what looked to be a moth-repellent spell.

Lilith realized what a faux pas she had committed and had blushed red and, mumbling embarrassed apologies, had disappeared into the garden with Celia. Hermione, rubbing her eyes to clear her vision, had walked into the closet, looking through the robes. Reaching into the pocket of one, she had pulled out a very old roll of Spell-o-Tape.

"Never did give this back to me," Hermione had remarked, her voice cracking slightly.

Molly and Ginny smiled faintly and everyone had headed back downstairs for dinner.

End Flashback

Now Hermione was sitting at the table in her and Lilith's room at the Leaky Cauldron, penning letters to everyone. It had been agreed that it was up to her to contact everyone, but she had no hesitations anymore. The dinner with Molly and Arthur had reassured her, made her realize that she would be welcomed, not shunned or treated with disdain for leaving. The letters to the various Weasleys were sitting to her left, sealed, addressed and ready to be delivered to the Owl Post Office in the morning.

Dipping her quill into her old Hogwarts inkpot, recently refilled with violet ink, she pulled out another piece of parchment and began writing yet another letter.

Dear Remus,

__

Hmm, does 'Dear' sound to friendly? No, I'll keep it, he knows I'm not trying to hit on him

I am writing to you in order to inform you that I am returning to the magical community. You have undoubtably heard of this from Minerva, as she had informed me that we would be teaching together next year at Hogwarts.

__

Does this sound to formal? After all, this is Moony, Moony of the Mauraders, Moony of Padfoot and Moony, who tried to make my wedding dress transparent at the party. Luckily they were too drunk.

I must say that I am glad to be back. I never realized how much I had missed magic until I was using it again everyday. I am especially looking forward to your teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, this time as my colleague (though I do hope you'll forgive me if I call you Professor out of habit). If you would like, I was love to get together with you for lunch sometime.

-Hermione Potter

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News spread quickly in the magical world; by the next day the amount of mail pouring into Hermione and Lilith's room was unbelievable. The owls flying into her room at times made it look like a pet shop.

People whom she had hardly known were writing her, welcoming her home. Of course, she received her fair share of nasty letters, telling her that she was better off as a Muggle, and how she a coward and a disgrace to the wizarding world, but those were to be expected; every world has its fair share of idiotic ninnies to deal with.

She had already had a reunion lunch with all the Weasley clan. Lilith had been spending all her time with Celia and another cousin, Bill and Fleur's daughter, Rosalind. They were very obviously following in the footsteps of Fred and George; Lilith had already created the idea for a new prank for the shop, without any magical training. The twins were busy following up on her idea.

Currently, Hermione was busy packing for the move to Hogwarts the next day; Minerva had written to tell her that there was no need for her to stay in Hogsmeade, as her apartment at the school was ready. The school term began in less than a week and Hermione needed to start getting prepared for teaching and heading a house. In preparation for actually opening the school for the first time in nearly a decade, she had been in staff meetings from 9 A.M. until 6 P.M. every day with the rest of the staff including Neville, Remus, Sirius, and, unfortunately, Snape. Snape had surprised her greatly by being very polite to her when she showed up for her first staff meeting. Perhaps Minerva had been right, perhaps he had actually been worried for her. But she doubted it.

Shoving the final bits of clothing into her trunk with the help of a few space-expanding charms Hermione was ready to head to Platform 9 3/4 for the train to Hogsmeade. She and Lilith would be taking the train to Hogsmeade where they would head the rest of the way in carriages.

Floating the trunk behind her, Hermione headed down into the main lounge area of the Leaky Cauldron. Lilith, Celia and Rosalind were waiting at a table, calmly sipping butterbeers and trying to look innocent.

"Alright, what have you three done now?" Hermione said, slipping into Teacher Mode, as Lilith had termed it.

"Nothing, really," Celia said, trying to put on puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, besides, he deserved it," Rosalind said.

"Oh, but I thought you didn't do anything?" Hermione questioned, a hint of amusement trickling into her voice.

"Well, maybe we did, sort of," Lilith admitted, "but nothing serious or dangerous," she added quickly.

"That's an improvement from yesterday," Hermione said, secretly relieved. The day before they had been testing a new Canary Creams formula for Fred and George, by adding it to the ice cream served at the ice cream parlor which had then been sold to a couple who had been kissing each other when the suddenly found that they were canaries. Luckily, they had a sense of humor and didn't press any charges.

"Honestly, Ms. Potter, it wasn't really anything, this teenager, looked to be our age, was riding through the Road of Heroes on a magically powered scooter, acting all disrespectful and such, so we tried that new levitation charm you taught us the other day and made him rise 5 feet in the air," Rosalind said. "We didn't even drop him, we just floated him out of the Road and set him on his way."

"Well, girls, as proud of you as I am that you did that, which was a very notable thing to have done, you really cannot go around levitating random people, you are going to get into trouble. When school starts you better not do anything, remember, I knew your uncles and father, and I was taught by the original Marauders, who still hold the official record for having broken every single rule Hogwarts had, and who prompted the formation of an entire new set. In our teacher's guide there is a whole section dedicated to the M rules, M standing for Marauder," Hermione said, looking each girl in the eye. "Plus, I'm not going to want to take points of any of you, but I cannot promise the same for any other teachers, such as Severus, I mean, Professor Snape."

"Awright, Mom, don't get your knickers in such as twist, calm down, Remus already gave us this lecture," Lilith said.

"Yeah, and Sirius even told us not to press the knot on the Whomping Willow to sneak into Hogsmeade, or to hide in the teacher's room in the secret panel in the wall, or to sneak out of school through the One-Humped Witch, or to hide in the Restricted section and make the books scream and pin it on Slytherins. See, we already know not to do any of that," Celia said, counting all the things Sirius and Remus 'warned' them about.

"Right, but you forgot not to use the Shrieking Shack as a hideout for our stuff. And Uncle Fred told us not to go into the potions cabinet and switch the labels on the potion ingredients," Rosalind added.

"Oh, how relieved I am, remind me to smack Remus and Sirius when I see them next," Hermione said sarcastically, picking up the trunk. "Come on Lilith, we need to get to the train. Celia and Rosalind, we'll be seeing you both at the Opening Feast."

Lilith and Hermione headed out of the Leaky Cauldron into Muggle London.

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The carriage rocked side to side as it traveled up the road from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. Lilith was sitting by the window, watching the scenery of the Forbidden Forest fly by; Hermione, though she knew what to expect, was also watching out the window.

"Wow, I haven't seen this is over a decade, I nearly forgot how beautiful it all is," Hermione said nostalgically.

"What Mom? Sorry, did you ask me something?" Lilith replied.

"Oh no, just talking to myself," Hermione said, peering over the tops of the trees to get a better look at the castle they were approaching.

Just then, Hogwarts appeared on the horizon. The castle was as magnificent an edifice as ever, with turrets and towers thrusting up to the sky, with the silver lake reflecting the depths, with the mysterious forest concealing all sorts of wild animals.

Lilith stared at the castle, finally realizing why her mother had been talking about it non-stop for the past week and a half. It was gorgeous. Spectacular. Magnificent. She felt that she could have gone on for a week extolling the beauty of the exterior of the castle, and probably would have, had the carriage not come to a halt just then a little inside the front gates.

Standing on the front lawn was a fairly large group of people including Remus, Sirius, Neville, Ginny, Minerva, and Snape. Hermione came out of the carriage carrying her trunks behind her. Sirius stepped up to greet her, giving her a big hug and tapping on her trunks with his wand, sending them zooming towards the castle.

"Just sent them to your room, ma'am," Sirius said, sticking out his hand and coughing politely.

Hermione laughed. "Sirius, if you honestly think I'm tipping you for doing that, you're crazy. Especially after you had that talk with the girls about how they should 'avoid' trouble."

Sirius looked hurt. "Honestly, Hermione, you could be a little more appreciative. Without Remus and I, they could have gotten themselves hurt, you know, by trying to get into the Whomping Willow without first using a long stick to tap the knot, now they can go about doing their mischief and you can sleep soundly."

Remus stepped up, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Don't worry Hermione, I'll keep an eye on this one here, our Ravenclaws won't be getting any tips from him."

"Our Ravenclaws?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, we decided this yesterday when we finalized Head of Houses list. You're in Gryffindor; Sirius and Remus are in Ravenclaw, Severus is in Slytherin, and Rebecca Tone is going to head Hufflepuff," Minerva said, handing Hermione a transcript of their last staff meeting which Hermione had to miss because of travel.

"Rebecca Tome? I don't believe I know who she is," Hermione said, tucking the transcript into her bag.

"She's is a co-worker of mine," Ginny spoke up. "Actually, was. She was 5 years behind you at school, a Hufflepuff herself. Very good at Arithmancy, I think she'll be teaching that."

"I see," Hermione said. "So, why are Sirius and Remus both the Heads of Ravenclaw? That's highly unusual, not to mention that Sirius isn't exactly the studious kind."

Remus starting chuckling. "I know, hardly the studious kind, that one was, never concentrated on any work, unless you call trying to sneak into the girls dorm rooms' work'."

Sirius scowled. "I hardly know what you're talking about Moony, me? Innocent me do that?" Sirius leaned in to punch Remus on his shoulder, but Remus ducked out of the way, causing Sirius' hat to fall off his head and roll towards to lake.

Sirius transformed into dog form and took after the hat.

Minerva watched him as he chased his hat before responding, "Originally Remus was going to be the Head, but he was concerned about covering his absences during the full moon so Sirius offered to help out. I decided to make them both officially the Heads so that Sirius won't just be a substitute for a few days and he'll actually get a chance to know the students."

Hermione nodded, "Very good idea, I wouldn't have thought of it myself."

"Well, that's why Minerva's the Headmistress," Remus said, startling Hermione who had forgotten he was still there.

Just then, Sirius came running back to the group, his hat held loosely in his mouth.

"Thank you, Remus. Now my new hat has dog slobber on it," Sirius tried in vain to wipe his hat on his shirt. "But then again, Remus, you must be used to that by now, wolf-boy."

The two of them took off, running towards the Great Hall.

"Well," Minerva said, adjusting her own hat, "it seems I am going to need to keep an eye on them. I suppose it will be a new trend, teachers sitting in detention and losing points for their Houses."

"As long as those two are teaching here, Minerva, we shall all just have to get used to it," Snape said haughtily.

Hermione glared at his back as the group headed towards the castle.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Minerva led Hermione and Lilith to her office, but instead of opening the Gargoyle she turned to the portrait across the hall.

"Meddling Mandrakes," Minerva said to the picture, which depicted a battle scene, complete with charging horsemen, much to Lilith's amazement.

"What's this?" Hermione said, as the picture swung open, revealing a long stone corridor.

"This is the Teacher's Wing. Your room is along the hallway, the one with the red door with the Gryffindor lion on it."

Hermione and Lilith trudged along the low stone corridor, coming to the door and pushing it open. It wouldn't budge.

"You have to set the password, Hermione," Minerva said. "Just say your name, position, and what you want your password to be.

"Hermione Potter, Charms Teacher and Head of Gryffindor House, Harry." The door swung open, revealing a posh suite. There was a red bed along one wall, the same kind as in the dorm rooms. Along one wall was a large fireplace with a roaring, purple fire; in front of the fireplace sat a sofa and two recliners. Opposite the sofa was a desk with a large mirror above it, reflecting nothing.

"What is that mirror for?" Hermione said, examining it.

"Oh, that's the Mirror," Minerva responded.

"I can tell it's a mirror, what does it do?"

"Sorry, it's similar to Floo Powder. If you say the name of any teacher in the school, it will show you their face, allowing you to contact them, as long as they are near their mirror. It also can show you the inside of the Gryffindor Common Room, the Great Hall, the Lake, or the Library. With or without sound, depending on what you want."

"Ah, so that's how you seemed to be omniscient when someone was breaking the rules," Hermione said with a grin.

"Of course. In addition, if the Common Room is too noisy, you can put you hand on the mirror, say 'take me' and you will be taken there immediately."

Hermione nodded, turning to her trunk and beginning to unpack.

"Where do I stay if this is the Teacher's Wing and I haven't been, umm, what's it called?" Lilith asked.

"Sorted," Hermione said from the inside of the closet.

"Right, sorted," Lilith corrected herself, "And shouldn't I not know all about the passwords to the teachers wings."

"Don't worry, you will stay in your mother's room until school opens in three days, then you will live in whatever dorm you are sorted into, and don't worry about the passwords. The main one to open the portrait will be changed. Besides, this is your mother's apartment, you will be allowed in here as long as Hermione has given you permission." Minerva turned to leave. "By the way, Hermione, dinner is in 10 minutes, but before you go you might want to brush up on personal defense wards, last nights dinner turned into a full-fledged duel between Sirius and Severus , and a spell hit off target and poor Neville got turned into a carrot."

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The few days before the Sorting Ceremony were hectic. Remus and Hermione, being the best at charms, were in charge of double checking all the many layers of charms and wards on the castle. There were rain-repellent charms, anti-Apparition charms, unplottable charms, Muggle-repellent charms, and a very odd anti-mutant-puffskein charm that neither Remus nor Hermione had any clue what to do with.

Finally, the big day came. Lilith had insisted on going down the Platform 9 3/4 to take the train to Hogwarts with everyone else.

"I don't want to be a dork with a Professor for a Mother, no offense or anything, you're really cool, in all the history books and everything," Lilith had said before taking Floo Powder to The Burrow so she could travel with all the many Weasley kids.

History Books. Yes, Hermione Potter was in many of them, mentioned as an outstanding Auror, the wife of 'The Boy Who Lived', yet none of them mentioned her stint at the funeral, or her life as a Muggle. She had asked Sirius about them, but he had merely responded 'You'd be surprised what showing up at the publishing house and chatting calmly with the president can do'. Hermione elected not to asked anything else about this 'chat' of his.

"Hermione, Hermione?" Remus said. He had been extremely nice in the past few days, reminding Hermione of her grandfather who had long since died.

_Just like everyone else_, she thought to herself.

"Coming Remus, let me just fix my hat."

Hermione and Remus walked down to the Great Hall, admiring the House banners that lined the walls. A new banner had been added among the four House banners. It was a simple black banner that said in purple letters "Reminiscemur Vos", which translated as "We Will Remember You."

Signs like these were hung around the school, reminding the students about the harsh reality of magical life. Sirius had spent all week making them, coming up with phrases. They had spent an entire staff meeting brainstorming ideas, and rejecting the inappropiate ones that Sirius kept coming up with, such as, "Hit 'em Where it Hurts", "Never Trust a Rat", and "Keep an Eye on Those Slytherins." Hermione had to admit, that last one was quite correct; most, if not all, of the Slytherins she had gone to school with were killed by Aurors during the war, or exterminated afterwards. The only one living that she knew of was Pansy Parkinson, who, in a remarkable stroke of bravery, had told the Ministry where to find Draco Malfoy and had allowed an Auror to use a Polyjuice Potion to imitate her in order to kill Draco. Hermione had to admire for her; Draco had been abusing her, and she had the guts to give him into the Ministry, knowing full well that she herself could be arrested for not doing so sooner.

Anyway, they had decided on 10 or so phrases, including a copy of the speech Dumbledore had given the night Cedric Diggory had been killed; that one was Hermione's favorite.

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Hermione and Remus sat down at the Head Table, waiting for the students to come in. The Sorting Hat stood on its stool at the head of the room. Suddenly, the doors burst open and the students piled into the Great Hall, unsure of where to sit as none of them had ever been sorted. Most students headed to the tables that their parents had been in, but the Muggle-borns and some purebloods hung back, hesitant to do something wrong so early in the year.

Minerva stood up, raising her wand into the air and shooting up some sparks. Everyone turned to look at her. Nearly everyone that is.

"You two, I don't know who you are but you're Weasleys, stop acting like Fred and George and pay attention," Celia and Rosalind shut up and looked at Hermione, who winked.

"Ahem, everyone, please have a seat at a table, it doesn't matter, you will all be moving soon."

There was a small hubbub as the students tried to get good seats.

"Now then, my name is Minerva McGonagall and I will be your Headmistress this year. As this is the first time that Hogwarts has opened its door in a long time, this year's Sorting Ceremony will be a tad bit untraditional." Minerva paused for a moment to allow some late-comers to enter. "Before I continue with any explanations of any sort, we will need to sort you all into your Houses, these will be your home until you finish at Hogwarts."

She picked up the Hat and a scroll of parchment that had been lying underneath.

"In order to save time tonight, a few of the wizard-born students have already been sorted, you perhaps remember a messenger coming to your house and trying on this hat? Right, you do? Good. That was the Sorting Hat, though we didn't tell you at the time, we wanted it to be a surprise. I will just quickly read off this list, have patience please."

Minerva read off the list quickly; Hermione hadn't realized that they had already been sorting some students. After the list was completed, there was some readjustments of seating. Minerva resumed speaking.

"Now, I will just need anyone whose name I did not read off that list to line up along the wall, I will be calling your names alphabetically so it doesn't matter where you stand."

Setting down the stool in the center of the room, Minerva began to call names.

"Agnair, Marleen….Hufflepuff

Abbott, Jamies….Ravenclaw" Minerva called out.

Finally she came to Lilith. Hemione held her breath, praying for her daughter to be a Gryffindor, and if not, to at least be anywhere but Slytherin.

"Potter, Lilith," Minerva said, sending a murmur through the students, not all of whom had known that Hermione had returned.

Lilith walked quickly to the stool, putting the hat on her head.

"Hmm, tricky one, like your father," the hat communicated to Lilith. "I sense mischief in you child, perhaps Slytherin, No? Oh, I see, raised with the typical Gryffindor bias against evil people. Well, you must have all types in the world, I always say. Since you seem to have your heart so set on that then I guess it must be GRYFFINDOR"

Hermione exhaled, clapping loudly and smiling at your daughter. Minerva patted Lilith on her back before Lilith ran back to her seat, hugging Celia and Rosalind. The names went on, lulling Hermione into a semi-asleep state.

Minerva paused, looking at her list. "Well, it seems the messenger didn't get a chance to pre-sort the Weasley clan, whom we appear to have a preponderance of this year, god help us," she said, smiling.

Weasley, James

Weasley, Eliah

Weasley, Stella

Weasley, Celia

Weasley, Percy Jr.

Weasley, Rosalind

Weasley, Robert

Much to Hermione's amusement and no one's surprise, they were all Gryffindor. Hermione clapped loudly, hoping that no one took after the twins, she really did not want to take off that many points from her own house, as she would undoubtedly be forced to.

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Hermione patted her stomach. The feast had been delicious, as usual. Thoughts of S.P.E.W. surfaced in her mind; Hermione chuckled and looked out over the crowd of students. Neatly arraigned by House, the crowd looked so organized, like 4 lines of battle.

Seeing that most of the students had finished eating, Minerva once again stood up, clearing her throat. The crowd silenced again, nearly immediately, except….

"If I must tell you again, Celia and Rosalind Weasley, to be quiet, you will find that you will have the honor of serving the first detention of the year." The named parties blushed red and stopped talking to the sound of laughter around them.

"Now that the feast is finished, there are a few announcements, explanations, and introductions to be made before you can all retire to you dormitories for the night. First, the basic rules. No going into the Forbidden Forest; no sneaking around after dark unless you feel your life is in mortal danger, no magic in the hallways, if you feel you must know the complete list of prohibited items, you can see Mr. Filch for it. Seeing as most of our teachers are new this year, I will ask those present to introduce themselves and give an abbreviated background."

Minerva gestured to the Head Table, indicating that they should stand up and introduce themselves.

"I am Professor Snape. I teach Potions and am Head of Slytherin; I have taught at Hogwarts before it shut and have seen ever trick in the book so do not attempt any pranks in my class." He glared at the Gryffindor table, his eyes focusing on those with red hair.

"I am Neville Longbottom, Herbology professor. I was a student in Gryffindor when I was younger, a long time ago. I am married and have a young son and am looking forward to teaching this year." Neville grinned and sat down.

"I am Proffesor Tome, Arithmancy professor and Head of Hufflepuff. I am sorry to say I was never able to attend Hogwarts, but I attended school in Canada at Kelowna School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"I am Sirius Black. Yes, yes, that Sirius Black, I see you all know who I am so I'll just skip the biography part. I am co-Head of Ravenclaw, though I was a Gryffindor myself and I will be teaching Transfiguration. I, like Snape, warn you not to try any tricks in my class, you will be caught, I invented most of them. I believe I still hold the record for most detentions of any student, am I right Minerva?" Minerva nodded, trying to scowl at the bad role model Sirius was being.

"I am Professor Lupin, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Head of Ravenclaw with Professor Black. I taught at Hogwarts on and off before it was shut and am eager to teach here again. Umm, what is there to say about me? Not much. Oh yeah, and Sirius is being egotistical again, he didn't think up all the various pranks, just most of them." Remus sat down. "One more thing, I'm a werewolf, no I won't eat any of you, you don't shower often enough, but my class will be covered by this lovely lady to my left during the full moon. And if my being a werewolf bothers you, then don't come to my class and I'll let you serve detention with Snape."

Hermione stood up, her palms sweating.

_Why am I nervous? It's just saying your name and your history, your very abridged history_

"Um, good evening. My name is Hermione Potter and I am the Charms Professor and the Head of Gryffindor, my old house. I have one daughter, Lilith, also a Gryffindor this year. I am looking forward to teaching this year and hope you all are looking forward to learning."

"And writing long essays about esoteric charms," Sirius had a chance to add before Hermione put a silencing charm on him.

"What Professor Black meant to say was, interesting assignments on useful charms, such as that one."

Minerva glowered at them before speaking. "I welcome you all to this new school year. Remember, we are in a new era; make it a good one."

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Hermione lay down at her bed, staring at the glow in the dark constellations that Lilith had painted on the ceiling, copying out of her new Astronomy textbook. Hermione raised her hand into the air, stretching. The light from the stars caught on the diamond she still worn on her ring finger.

She sat up, examining the rings. Minerva's words ran through her mind.

_We are in a new era_

Realizing what she needed to do, Hermione grabbed her cloak and bag, shoving two roses into her bag from the vase that Remus and Sirius had given her as a welcome home present. They were beautiful magical roses, black petals with a red edge, looking as if they were dipped in blood.

Checking one last time on the Gryffindor common room through her mirror, Hermione walked out of her room, locking her door behind her.

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Hermione walked briskly through the streets of Hogsmeade until she reached the sign marking the edges of the Apparition Wards that surrounded the town. Pausing momentarily to catch her breath, Hermione Apparated away with a small pop.

She reappeared a few miles away in Godric's Hollow at the wizarding graveyard that the Ministry had built on the site of the Potters' old home.

Opening the rusty front gate, Hermione walked up the path, meticulously maintained with the help of charms, until she reached the back corner. In the back corner lay her friends. Walking to the willow tree that hung over a secluded path of ground, Hermione looked at the shadows cast by the tall stones in the bright moonlight. An owl hooted overhead, adding to the mysterious and ethereal quality that the entire place had.

Hermione pulled out one of the roses and laid it on Ron's grave. Sitting on the ground over his coffin, she ran her finger over the words carved into his headstone. She sat for nearly half an hour before she felt ready to do what she had truly come to do.

She walked to the adjacent grave. Harry's. Leaning on the gravestone for support, she slowly sat down on the ground, heedless of the mud beneath her.

Staring at her hands, she began to speak softly. "Harry, I love you. I always will love you, there will always be a special place in my heart for you. I will never forget you, Harry. But it has been 11 years, time to let go of the past. You are dead Harry." Hermione had to pause to swallow the lump that had risen in her throat. Saying it aloud made it seem so much more real. "I cannot live tied to my past. I am not forgetting you, merely trying to move on. I hope you understand. I love you Harry."

Hermione pulled off the two rings that she wore, her engagement ring and her wedding band. Slipping them into her bag, she stood up and walked purposefully out of the graveyard, pausing every few moments to steady herself.

She was already out of the graveyard before she stopped. She looked at her hand, bare now, for a few moments before turning and running back to where she had just come from.

"Who the hell did I think I was kidding?" Hermione said to the night sky as she put her wedding ring back onto her finger.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter; if you did…REVIEW!!! They encourage me to write which in turns makes you happier. So…reviewing will make you happier! Feel free to e-mail me (SmallSarah@aol.com) with questions and/or comments. I had originally planned to end the story with the chapter, but I got inspired and am now writing a few more chapter before the story concludes. They ought to be out soon, in the meantime check out my other stories. A special thanks to my beta-reader Elvenwren. Have Fun and Enjoy!! -Serafina


	6. Dreams and Other Such Terrors

Ethan Frome

_It was the Yule Ball in their 7th year. The Great Hall was decorated like a winter palace; icicles were hung from the ceiling and the floor was charmed to look like a skating rink. Harry had his arms around her waist; they were spinning through the crowd of students. Hermione noticed that he was leading her towards to door. She looked at him quizzically, but he just smiled knowingly. Reaching the door, Harry put his scarf over her eyes and took her hand in his and led her outside. They walked for a few moments in silence, until they reached wherever Harry was taking her. Pulling the scarf off Hermione's eyes, Harry spun her around so that she was facing a rose bush. It was shaped like a heart and floating over it were the words "Together Forever"._

"I've been practicing," Harry said quietly, "I hope you like it."

Hermione turned to Harry and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. He leaned in to kiss her…

Hermione shot awake, her eyes flying open. Her face was flushed and her forehead was damp. Shaking, she poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher on her nightstand. As she sipped the water she began to calm down. A glance at her clock told her that it was already 6 in the morning; later than her dreams usually occurred.

The dreams had started around October. Nearly every night she would be woken up, sweating and panting with the sheets tangled on her bed. They were not always bad dreams, some were flashbacks to happy moments, such as the one she had tonight. She could never go back to sleep after a dream; she would lie awake, staring at the ceiling and praying that she could get over the dreams, the constant dreams, the disturbing dreams, the perplexing dreams, yet part of her didn't want to. As long as she had no power over the dreams she couldn't blame herself for living in the past. Winter vacation would be over in two days; Hermione thought that once she immersed herself in work, they dreams would go away, but she seriously doubted it.

She knew that there would be no more sleep tonight, so she hauled herself out of the bed and slipped on her robe. Opening her old, black school trunk, she pulled out the invisibility cloak, putting it on over her winter robes as she headed out of her apartment and padded softly down the hallway.

Now that she was outside, Hermione wasn't sure where she was going to go. Hogwarts was nearly empty; most students had gone home. Even Lilith had spent the two weeks with the Weasley family in order to get some time away from school and her mother.

The hallways were deserted; those students who had not gone home were still asleep, as it was only 6 AM. Without realizing it, Hermione had headed to the main doors, the same ones she had just been dreaming about. Pulling her winter cloak tightly around her body, Hermione stepped outside onto the winter snow. It was beautiful. Everything was covered in a think blanket of white, making the tress look like twisted works of modern art.

"Why are you awake so early, Hermione?" a voice behind her asked.

Hermione spun around. "Oh, it's just you Remus," Hermione said, blowing on her hands to warm them up.

"Who did you expect? The bogeyman?" Remus asked, smiling.

"It's rather early. I didn't think anyone else would be outside."

"Come on inside, Hermione. You'll freeze out here," Remus said, taking Hermione's hand and leading her inside.

"Let's see if the houselves are awake yet, I'd like some warm cider," Hermione said.

"Mmm, that would be lovely," Remus said, "So, what were you doing outside?"

"Oh, nothing, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing important," Hermione said nonchalantly.

Remus realized that whatever it was Hermione had been thinking about was nothing that she wanted to share with him.

"So Remus, what were you doing outside so early?" Hermione asked, trying to change the subject.

"Last night was the full moon," Remus said, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. "I had been running though the snow in the Forbidden Forest and had just woken up."

"Right, sorry, I forgot it was that time of the month. Running in the forest, that sounds fun," Hermione remarked.

"It is. Running during the full moon is one of the perks of being a werewolf," Remus said, smiling. He opened the portrait that led to the kitchens and he and Hermione went inside.

"Hello?" Hermione called out to the empty kitchen. "Is anyone awake?"

Two elves popped their heads out of the closet by the stove.

"Yes, yes, how can we help you?" the elf said as it ran over to Remus and Hermione, its pillowcase brushing the ground.

"Umm, do you have any cider, perchance?" Hermione asked. No sooner had she finished her question than the second elf had given both her and Remus large, steaming mugs of cider.

"Thank you," Remus said as he and Hermione ducked out of the kitchen.

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The cider must have been spiked. Within 10 minutes of finishing their mugs, both Remus and Hermione were quite drunk. Since both of them had had very little sleep the previous night, they passed over the tipsy part of drunkenness and fell straight asleep.

Sitting at her desk, Hermione felt her eyelids being pushed down by a force stronger than herself; Remus was already snoring. Hermione gave in, and her head drooped down onto her arms, and she too fell asleep again.

_The door to Hermione's office creaked open, revealing a very pale and shaking Harry. Hermione looked up from her papers and, seeing him, rushed over to where he was standing. Hugging him tightly she could feel his trembling through his robes._

"I…I…" Harry stuttered.

"Shh," Hermione said, pressing her finger to his lips and leading him to a chair. "Sit down, calm down Harry. What happened?" It was not like Harry, the leader of their Auror team, to be like this; usually he was the calm and collected one who calmed everyone else down when they got too emotional.

Harry took a few deep breaths before he began to speak. "I..I was out in the field with Jack and Alby. We were on surveillance, just keeping on eye on a meeting. They..they snuck up on us. Ambushed us. And…they nearly got Alby; I just…just."

Hermione took his hand in hers, and he continued. "Alby was lying on the ground, bleeding. I don't know what happened, but, I killed his attacker. A human. Hermione, I killed a human."

Hermione hugged Harry tightly to her, their tears mingling.

Hermione opened her eyes to find that she was looking into someone else's eyes.

"Good, you're awake," Remus said, gently pushing her back down onto her couch as she tried to sit up. "No, lie down, you probably had an adverse reaction to the alcohol."

"What..What happened?" Hermione asked, rubbing her head.

"Oh, we both fell asleep because of the alcohol in the cider, and I think you had a nightmare. You were waving your hands wildly, and I put you on the couch so that you wouldn't hurt yourself by falling off your desk chair," Remus said, pushing a goblet of something pink into Hermione's hand. "Drink this; it's a Hangover Potion. It'll clear your head."

Hermione sipped the potion; it tasted faintly of peppermint. "How are you so chipper?" Hermione asked.

"I'm a werewolf. Alcohol drains out of my blood much quicker than normal humans," Remus said. "Plus I probably have a higher tolerance for alcohol than you."

"I wouldn't doubt that," Hermione said, grinning. "I tried to stay away from alcohol; it would have been too easy to use it to make myself forget."

Remus nodded. "I understand; I was nearly there myself after Lily and James."

There was a pause. Hermione tried to look busy drinking her potion.

"So, um, Remus," Hermione said, breaking the silence, "Did I, uh, say anything while I was asleep?"

"No, nothing I could hear. Why do you ask?"

"No reason, no reason at all."

"Hermione," Remus said, trying to make eye contact with Hermione but failing, as Hermione was looking intensely at the goblet she was holding. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Nothing, honestly."

"Whatever is bothering you, tell me please, last time I saw you upset you wound up hiding for eleven years. Whatever I can do to help you, I will do," Remus said sincerely.

"Thank you for the offer of help Remus, but I assure you that it was just a random dream, nothing serious. I barely even remember it," Hermione lied. "So, what time is it?"

"Nearly 4 in the afternoon," Remus said, checking his watch.

"Wow, I was passed out the entire day," Hermione said, getting up from the coach slowly, trying to recover her equilibrium. "I didn't get any work done."

Remus shook his head. "Hermione, it's winter break. You aren't allowed to do work on winter break."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I've been procrastinating for the past two weeks; school starts tomorrow, and I need to finish up some last minute preparations. You ought to go now, I need to get changed and showered so that I can get started. I'll see you down at dinner."

Remus took one last concerned look at Hermione before leaving her apartment and heading down the hall towards Sirius' room.

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"I'm worried about her," Remus said, sitting on the back of Sirius' sofa as Sirius dug through his closet trying to find something.

"Where is that sock? Here we go," Sirius held up a maroon wool sock with a large hole in the toe. "What were you saying, Moony?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I was saying that I am worried about Hermione."

"Oh, why?" Sirius asked. "She has been a little distanced lately but nothing I'd be overly worried about."

"I know. This morning when I was coming back to the castle I saw her outside in the snow. I took her back inside and we got some cider from the kitchens, but it had alcohol in it and we both fell asleep," Remus explained, "When I woke up she was having some sort of nightmare."

"Did she tell you what it was about?"

"No, she seemed really concerned that I not know what it was about."

"Hmm, I really don't know what to say," Sirius said, putting on his maroon socks.

"Do you think we should be doing something?" Remus asked.

"Just keep an eye on her, I guess," Sirius said.

"I don't know, Padfoot, I want to do something to help her."

"Moony, I'm sure Hermione's just peachy," Sirius said, "Don't go sticking your snout into her business."

Remus sighed and shook his head but dropped the topic, for the time being.

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Hermione arrived a little late at dinner as she had dawdled in her bubble bath a bit too long. As she ate, she noticed that Remus and Sirius were acting a little coldly towards one another, as if they had been in a disagreement, and that Remus was keeping an eye on her constantly.

"Remus, could you please pass the treacle pudding?" Hermione asked. Remus, instead of passing it to her, levitated it to her plate and dished out a spoonful with his wand.

"Is that enough?" Remus asked.

"Um, yes, thank you," Hermione said, "You don't have to do that. I can serve myself; I am nearly 40, you know."

"Of course I know," Remus said, "Am I not allowed to keep an eye out for my friend?"

Hermione smiled and began eating.

"So, Hermione," Minerva said, "How is Lilith enjoying Hogwarts?"

"Oh, she loves it," Hermione said, "She and those Weasley girls have really hit it off together. Not to mention the classes, quite a change from the subjects she used to study."

"Actually, now that you mention it, we need a new Muggle Studies teacher," Minerva said, "We couldn't find anyone who wanted the job."

"Really?" Hermione said in disbelief, "Why couldn't you, I thought it was the Defense position that was supposed to be cursed?"

Minerva smiled slightly. "I don't know why. I ran advertisements in all of the wizarding papers. We got a few applicants, but none who were qualified."

"Hmmm, have you ever considered hiring a Muggle?" Hermione said thoughtfully, "I know a few retired people who might like the job. Most of them would probably enjoy living in the magical world. I could Apparate back to New York to ask them."

"NO, no," said Remus.

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked, looking up at Remus.

"No, you shouldn't be exerting yourself by Apparating all that distance," Remus said, "I could go speak to them, if you'll give me their names."

"Why can't I go to New York, Remus?" Hermione demanded, "since when it is your job to tell me what I can and can't do?"

"I'm just trying to help you, Hermione," Remus countered.

"Remus, calm down, Hermione is a grown woman, she can Apparate just fine," Sirius said, nudging Remus in the side. "What did I tell you about not sticking your snout in other people's business."

"Remus, listen to Sirius," Hermione said.

"Right Remus, listen to Sirius, " Sirius said.

"Sirius," Minerva said, rolling her eyes.

"Stop joking, people," Remus said, "I just thought that Hermione looked sort of under the weather lately, I'm not trying to get involved in her business. Though, I still don't think you should Apparate to New York, especially not alone."

"What is up with you tonight, Remus?" Hermione said, standing up, "I am just fine, thank you very much. And honestly, I lived in New York for eleven years, I think I can watch out for myself. Just, just stop this over-protective guardian angle act of yours. You were doing it this afternoon too; I'm just fine, Remus." Hermione left the table and walked swiftly back to her room.

"Hmm? What did I tell you Remus?" Sirius said smugly.

"Aw, shutup Padfoot," Remus said, sticking his fork moodily into his pudding.

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"What's up with Remus?" Hermione thought to herself as she stood in the shower, letting the hot water beat down on her body. "He's acting like he thinks he's my guardian."

Hermione stepped out of her shower, toweling her hair dry before she used a quick Drying Charm. Wrapping her fluffy red towel around her body, she walked out to her room just as her mirror announced that Remus Lupin wanted to speak to her.

"I accept the call," Hermione said to the mirror as she buttoned up her pajamas.

"Hermione?" Remus said.

"I'm listening."

"Um, I'm sorry about dinner."

"Apology accepted, but what were you trying to do?"

"Just making sure you were okay. I thought that maybe something was going on with you, especially after you had that nightmare this afternoon…"

"Remus, that was purely a result of the alcohol in the cider. Those are not at all a common occurrence."

"That's good; I was worried that you might be overly stressed about something and I guess I just went a little too far."

"You can say that again."

"Well, I should let you finish your work. Just, Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"If, uh, something's up, you'll tell Sirius or I, right?"

"Of course," Hermione lied as she shut the connection.

Hermione walked over to her bed, pulling back the covers with one fast motion.

"I'm fine, really, I'm just fine," Hermione said aloud as if to convince herself as she got into her bed, snuggling up against her pillow. "Anyway, once school start tomorrow, I'll be too busy to have these dreams and the point will be moot," Hermione mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.

__

The team of Aurors, Harry, Cho, Gabe, and Hermione, stood around the door to the house.

"Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?" Harry asked, "There should be only 3 Death Eaters in here, we rush in, apprehend them, and Apparate them to HQ for questioning. Quick in and out, nothing too complicated."

"Yes, sir," Hermione said, mock saluting her husband. Harry rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Cough, cough," Gabe said, "sorry to interrupt, but we have a mission to do."

"Right, yes, of course," Harry said, aiming his wand at the door, "Everyone on the count of three. One, two, three." On the count of three, Harry blasted open the door in a shower of woodchips and sparks.

The team entered the building, only to find it empty, or so they thought. Suddenly, from the air, 50 Death Eaters appeared.

"Well, it appears your mission just got a bit more complicated," a Death Eater said, stepping forward and binding the Aurors' arms to their sides before they got a chance to react. The four Aurors were pushed towards the ground by Death Eaters standing behind them.

Hermione was sitting next to Harry. She was shaking; Harry was looking straight ahead, trying to keep his face straight as he fiddled with his bonds. Hermione realized what he was doing and tried to copy him, but her fingers were shaking too much.

"Now, let's see, what shall I do with you," the Death Eater twirled his wand between his fingers as he paced back and forth in front of the captives.

Gabe suddenly jumped up and attacked the pacing Death Eater, grabbing the wand from his fingers and stunning another Death Eater, but Gabe was overpowered and pinned to the ground.

The Death Eater whom Gabe had attacked picked up the wand that Gabe had grabbed from him and bound Gabe's entire body, leaving him no room to move, let alone break free again.

Cho, Harry, and Hermione sat on the floor, unable to help their comrade.

"It seems you are a regular Houdini. Well, we can't be having that, now can we?" the Death Eater said, putting his wand on Gabe's forehead. Hermione forced herself to make eye contact with Gabe, who was looking straight at the Death Eater with a look of terror, or maybe it was defiance, in his eyes.

"Avada Kedavra!" the Death Eater shouted; Gabe's body slumped to the ground, lifeless.

The remaining three Aurors were being led towards the back of the room by a few Death Eaters. They had managed to break free of their bonds while the Death Eaters were focused on Gabe, but they were keeping their hands close to their sides until the right moment.

The Death Eaters had all moved towards the back of the room, apparently preparing something, but had left the door unguarded.

"NOW!" Harry shouted, pulling out his wand and sprinting towards the door with Cho and Hermione.

They sprinted as fast as the could across the field in front of the building. The Death Eaters followed them closely but were out of casting distance, so Harry, Cho and Hermione were safe as long as they kept running.

One Death Eater was riding a broom and was catching up with them rapidly. None of them looked back, they just kept running faster.

"Avada Kedavra!" Cho crumpled to the ground as she was hit with the Killing Curse. Hermione pointed her wand behind her and muttered a curse and was rewarded by a yelp as the Death Eater who had gotten Cho fell off his broom. There were tears blurring Hermione's vision, but she wiped them out of her eyes and kept running with Harry towards the grove of trees less than one hundred meters in front of her where they had stashed their brooms.

Hermione heard Harry mutter a charm. She recognized the charm as one that the Development team had recently invented. It was designed to protect the wearer from one curse, but had the drawbacks of draining a wizard's power so severely that he or she would be able to do only very minor magic for 24 hours after using it. Hermione was not yet able to perform the charm so she kept running, praying that she would make it to the trees alive. She ran faster, feeling a bit more relieved now that she knew that Harry was protected.

"Avada Kedavra!" a voice behind Hermione said, but Hermione knew that Harry was protected so she ignored it and kept pumping her legs up and down, running for the trees that were less than five meters away.

Hermione fell onto the soft leaves, breathing hard. She doubled over in pain, clutching at the cramps in her stomach.

"Bloody hell, Harry, that was too close," Hermione said, putting out her hand to touch Harry. He wasn't there. Hermione picked up her head and looked around, but she didn't see him. Beginning to panic, she crawled out of the burrow she had fallen into and looked around wildly.

She saw him, lying on the ground less than five meters from the grove of trees. Heedless of the possibility that there would still be Death Eaters around, Hermione ran over to him. She felt his pulse. There was none.

Hermione dragged his body to the grove, using all of her effort to remain calm. Safely hidden in the leaves, Hermione rolled him over and looked at his face. It was empty; his green eyes were dull, lifeless almost.

"No, no, no, no," Hermione muttered to herself feeling the panic grow. "He can't be, he can't, he was protected, the charm…." Hermione's voice trailed off as realization hit her. Harry had not cast the charm on himself; he had cast it on her. Harry was dead.

"NO! NO! NO!" Hermione woke up screaming. Her face was covered in a sticky film of sweat and her pajamas were twisted. She needed to speak to Remus.

A/N: Greetings dedicated readers. Thus ends chapter 6 of Hermione's Grief, the ongoing saga. I'm very sorry about the long wait for this chapter, but it is a very important chapter and I wanted it to be perfect (I must have rewritten the last flashback about 20 times). The next chapter should be out in about a week or a bit longer…I have major tests in school so….

COMING SOON (what to expect): Hermione travels back to New York to find that possibly teacher…Lilith comes back from vacation….Remus gets worried….Sirius gets worried (sort of)….and Hermione's dreams keep coming….but she thinks she might have found a solution. Stay Tuned.

Oh yeah…PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you. Have a Nice Day.

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	7. Apples and Potions

Knock Knock __

Knock Knock

Remus was woken up at 4 AM by a loud banging on his door. Fumbling with his blankets, he got out of bed and sleepily walked to his door, pulling it open to reveal a disheveled Hermione.

"Help!" Hermione cried, throwing herself into Remus' arms, causing him to stumble.

"Hermione! What's the matter?" Remus said, half-carrying Hermione to his couch.

Hermione stumbled on the train of her robes and fell onto the couch. She curled up in a ball between the pillows and started crying again. Remus' face was a mask of concern for his friend; he was not used to dealing with hysterical women. Doing the only thing he could think of, he pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to Hermione.

She took it and, lifting her face, dabbed at her eyes, which were red and puffy.

"Th..th..thank you," Hermione stuttered, straining to hold in the tears.

"What's the matter, Hermione?" Remus said, putting his arm around Hermione's shoulders.

"The..the..dreams. They won't stop and they just keep getting worse." The tears were running down Hermione's face.

Remus took the handkerchief in his hand and wiped the tears off her face. "What dreams?"

"Every night I..I dream about Ha..Ha..him," Hermione said, her shoulders sagging.

"What do you mean, every night?" Remus asked, "for how long?"

"Almost every night since..since Halloween," Hermione said.

"Halloween! Hermione, why didn't you say anything before?" Remus said, shocked.

"I though I could deal with them myself," Hermione confessed, "I didn't want you to worry." And, Hermione thought to herself, it made me feel almost like Harry was still alive; I sort of enjoyed them, until tonight.

"Didn't want us to worry! Oh, Hermione," Remus hugged his friend tightly, "Don't ever think that you're a burden on us, Hermione. It's my job as a friend to help you and to worry about you."

"Then, could you help me? Please?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Absolutely," Remus said, trying to think of what to do, "First, you should go back to sleep while I try to do something."

"NO!" Hermione said, panicked. She didn't think that she could deal with another dream that night.

"Hermione, you need some sleep. I'll be right back; I'm going to get something for you to drink that might help. If you don't want to go to sleep, stay awake and wait right here," Remus stood up and put on his dressing gown; he was damned if he was going to go ask Snape for help dressed in his pajamas.

Remus left his apartment and walked down the hall towards Snape's room. Snape lived at the end of the hall; his room was right next to his potions lab.

Remus knocked on the door, waited, and knocked again. The door was rudely whipped open.

"What…do…you…want?" Snape nearly hissed at Remus, "It is 4 in the morning. Speak quickly werewolf."

"Hermione's been having nightmares for 3 months and I need you to make me a Dreamless Sleep Potion so that she doesn't go insane," Remus explained, "fast enough for you?"

Snape glared at Remus.

"Severus," Remus said, grabbing the man by his collar and shoving him against the doorframe; werewolves are very strong. "You will make this potion or I shall see to it that you are fired tomorrow morning. I doubt Minerva will take kindly towards your refusal to help Hermione Potter." Remus virtually spat the last word in Snape's face.

A few moments passed in silence.

"Well," Remus said, "are you going to do anything? Or must I get Minerva?"

"I will do what you are so rudely demanding of me at 4 in the morning," Snape said icily, "but I can only begin if you put me down."

Remus gave Snape one last glare before dropping him the few inches to the ground.

Adjusting his robes, Snape walked brusquely to the back of his room and opened a green door on the back wall, revealing the potions lab. He went over to a table and began rummaging through a large basket.

"Well," Snape said, startling Remus, "Are you going to stand there or are you going to help? Start the fire under that cauldron."

Snape walked over to the cauldron and began dropping in assorted ingredients.

"Eye of newt…toe of dog…piece of chocolate," Snape muttered to himself.

"Chocolate?" Remus asked.

"Yes, chocolate," Snape said, exasperated, "It makes it taste better."

"Oh, I see," Remus said, wondering why Snape never seemed to add chocolate to his Wolfsbane Potion.

Snape worked in near silence for a few minutes before turning around and handing Remus a glass vial filled with a pink potion.

"There," Snape said, "that ought to last for a week."

Remus mumbled his faint appreciation before dashing out of the lab and heading back to Hermione.

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"What the bloody hell is going on Moony?" Sirius grumbled.

"It's about Hermione," Remus replied.

"What about her, Remus? It is nearly 5 AM and the students are going to be returning in a few hours," Minerva said fiercely, well, as fiercely as one can sound while sitting at a desk wearing a polka dot dressing gown and green hair curlers.

After giving Hermione the potion, Remus had told both Sirius and Minerva to meet him in the Headmistress' apartment. Something needed to be done about Hermione, and right quickly.

"Well," Remus began, "Hermione's been having nightmares lately, since Halloween, she told me. She came to my room at about 4 this morning in a state of total hysteria; I gave her a Dreamless Sleep Potion that Snape was kind enough to make, but something more permanent needs to be done."

"Like what?" Sirius asked.

"I have no clue. That's why I need you two to help," Remus shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"I'm beginning to think that bringing her back might have been a mistake," Minerva said carefully, "but I couldn't bear to think about her wasting her life as a Muggle."

"Aha!" Sirius said, jumping up.

"What's 'Aha!'?" Remus asked, pulling his friend back into her seat in front of Minerva's desk.

"Her life as a Muggle, that's what 'Aha!' is," Sirius replied.

"Sirius Black, explain yourself a tad bit more clearly," Minerva sighed, struggling to get the last curler out of her hair.

"You said she was fine as a Muggle. Right Minerva?" Sirius said.

"Right," Minerva said slowly, as if speaking to someone a few knuts short of a Galleon.

"Well, if she was fine as a Muggle, we could send her back to the Muggle world for a bit," Sirius finished. "It might let her get her bearings back, give her a bit of respite from all the magic. I imagine the nightmares are just a normal reaction to the shock of living in the magical world again. We could send her to interview that teacher person she mentioned. She doesn't even need to know that we know about the nightmares; Hermione is the type of person who might feel she was imposing on us if we were worrying about her."

"You know, Sirius," Minerva said, "I think that's the best idea I've ever heard from you."

"Thank you," Sirius said, bowing to the Headmistress, "hey, wait a minute!"

Remus chuckled. "I think that would be a good idea. She can spend as long as she needs to in New York; I have some friends there who wouldn't mind keeping an eye on her. Sirius and l will cover her classes until she gets back." If she gets back, Remus thought to himself.

"Fine, then that's settled," Minerva said, "She can leave as soon as she wants to; we'll tell Lilith that her mother needed to run an errand for me in New York. I don't think we should mention the nightmares to her."

"Absolutely not," Sirius said, "we wouldn't want her think that her poor mother's off her rocker, now would we?"

"Sirius," Minerva said, rolling her eyes. Some people never grew up.

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"Hermione?" Remus gently tapped her shoulder. She had fallen asleep on his couch and did not appear to be having any nightmares. I never thought I'd be saying thing, Remus thought to himself, but god bless Severus Snape and his blasted potions.

"Mmm, yes Remus?" Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes, "Is it morning already?"

"Yes it is Hermione. It's nearly breakfast time; everyone will be getting back from vacation soon," Remus handed Hermione her school robes and then turned around so that she could get dressed.

"Oh dear," Hermione said, trying to run her hands through her hair, but getting them stuck on one of the many tangles there, "What should I tell Lilith? I can't exactly hide this..this," Hermione gestured vaguely with her hands. "Besides, I've lied to her too much already."

"Don't worry, Hermione," Remus said, "Minerva wants you to go to New York to see about that possible teacher. She wants you to leave as soon as possible; she said that she wants the teacher to get started teaching Muggle Studies as soon as possible."

"Really? Does she really think that I'm in the best shape for it?" Hermione asked.

"You'll be fine. That potion Snape made seems to work; as long as you have that you shouldn't have any problems," Remus said.

"Let's hope so. In that case, I need to go pack. Did Minerva say how long I could have to speak to the teacher?" Hermione said, pulling open the door to Remus' apartment.

"As long as you need, but she wanted you to owl her occasionally about your progress, especially if your friend declines the job so we can send in a Memory Squad," Remus said, "and Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, do you think you could owl me about your, uh, you know," Remus fumbled for the proper words.

"Nightmares? Don't worry Remus, I'll tell you if I think I am going to have a breakdown again. But don't be too concerned, Snape, for all his many issues with social tact, is remarkable with potions," Hermione said, holding up her hand which held the vial of pink potion, "and tell Lilith that I'll be owling her frequently. Tell her I might even be able to send her a letter from her friend Donna."

"Will do, Hermione. Have a good trip to Muggle New York," Remus said with a grin, "and try to blend in."

"Remus, I lived there for 11 years. I don't need you to remind me of that," Hermione's mouth was frowning, but her eyes were twinkling.

"Sorry, of course," Remus said, putting his hands up in a gesture of mock defeat, "but come on, I'll help you pack and then we can walk to outside the Apparition Wards. I'll help carry all your stuff."

"Oh, you don't need to. I don't have that much stuff to bring with me," Hermione said.

"Please? Let an old man be of some help," Remus said with a hang-dog look on his face.

"Fine, come on though; I want to get a move on," Hermione said, tapping her foot impatiently.

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Hermione sat on a bench high above the Atlantic ocean greatly enjoying her latte. She was currently in BT, one of the many rest stops designed for wizards and witches Apparating across the Atlantic Ocean. BT was located in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle; it was a giant, floating disc covered by a glass dome inside of which the people could go about their business.

Hermione had left Remus outside Hogsmeade and Apparated to a wizarding town in Iceland, from which she had Apparated to BT. BT had to be one of the most interesting places in the wizarding world. It was filled was wizards and witches from literally all over the globe. In the center of the disc was a large heath; it was the largest connection between the Eurasian/African Floo Network and that of the Americas. People were constantly streaming in and out of the hearth, sending Floo Powder and sparks flying around the glass dome.

Along one side of the disc there was a desk from where people could either purchase pre-made Portkeys that would take them anywhere they want to go, or people could buy tickets on one of the large flying carpets that left every 1/2 hour, traveling alternatively between New York and Casablanca, places from where a person could easily Apparate to anywhere in the globe, and places were flying carpets were legal; they were still prohibited in the United Kingdom.

Dropping her now empty coffee cup in the trash bin, Hermione took a number and got on the Apparition line. No more than 10 people were allowed to Apparate away from BT at one time, otherwise the concentration of magic required to Apparate would cause negative side effects in the surrounding area; this was discovered a century ago when 20 wizards had Apparated at once, causing everyone who had been in BT to turn into large pink elephants. Even with the number as low as 10 there were some adverse effects; it was rumored that it created a magical field so great that Muggles had difficulty operating electronics in the area.

"Number 31, Number 31 you are cleared for Apparition," a loud voice squawked from the air in front of Hermione. Holding tightly onto her suitcase, Hermione Apparated away from the floating disc and headed towards New York.

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Hermione ducked out of the restroom stall in Kramer Alley, New York's magical area. After Apparating into the Alley from BT, Hermione had grabbed a quick lunch and changed from her school robes into a pair of gray woolen slacks and a emerald blouse. She exited Kramer Alley and flagged down a taxi cab.

"Could you take me to the Bronx? Good, good," Hermione said, getting into the cab. "Riverdale please, 246th street."

The cabby grunted his understanding and pulling quickly away from the curb sending Hermione flying backwards into the bench.

"Ow," Hermione said, rubbing her back. It had only been a few months since she had taken a taxi and already she was losing her touch. She hated to think what would have happened had she decided to take the subway.

Hermione sat in silence, watching the building fly by through the window. It was nice winter day and the sidewalks were full of families playing in the snow. Seeing all of the happy people made Hermione sad, thinking of how things could have turned out.

"Here ya go, ma'am," the cabby said, sticking his hand through the plastic barrier and jarring Hermione from her depressing reverie. "That'll be $17."

Oh shoot, Hermione thought, I forgot to change my money.

"Uh, hold on a second, sir," Hermione said trying to think of what to do. Suddenly, Hermione remembered that she always left money in her pants pocket. Sticking her hand into the pocket of her slacks, she felt the rough edge of a bill. Praying that it would be over a 5, she pulled it out. It was a 20.

Hermione handed the driver the 20, sighing in relief at the closely averted disaster. The driver looked at her for a moment as if she were crazy but then handed her back the change.

Hermione got out of the cab and looked at her house. It looked exactly as it had when she had left it back in August, minus the petunias that Hermione had planted along the walkway, it was January after all. Hermione walked up the path to the door. She put her suitcase down and began searching through it for her house key, which she had brought with her to Hogwarts.

"Hermione! Hermione!" a woman shouted, rushing across the front yard. Hermione looked at her and smiled, giving the woman a big hug. The woman was Marge Nullin; Hermione's neighbor. Hermione and Marge had always been fairly close, as far as neighbors go; Marge had been the saddest to learn that the Grangers were moving to England.

"Oh darling, you came back," Marge said, "Let me guess, you had enough of those stuffy Brits and decided to come home."

"Hey, I'm one of those stuffy Brits, and no, I'm sorry to say that Lilith and I aren't coming home, I just needed to deal with some of my affairs in New York," Hermione explained.

"Oh," Marge said, obviously disappointed, "so, where is Lilith?"

"She's still at school," Hermione said, "I wasn't sure how long this would take and I didn't want her to miss too much school."  
"You're a teacher at her school, right?" Marge asked, helping Hermione push open the door; it had gotten stiff with all the ice forming around the edges.

"Yes," Hermione replied, giving the door one last push. It swung open on its squeaky hinges. The inside of the house looked as if it had been lived in yesterday; Hermione had left everything, the furniture, the television, the computer; as she would obviously not need any of it in Hogwarts. Before she had left, Hermione, Remus and Sirius had used every housekeeping charm they could think of to tidy up the house.

"So, Hermione," Marge said, "how do you like your new job in England?"

"I actually like it a lot," Hermione replied, putting her suitcase on the table and opening it. She began removing the clothing and laying it out on the table so she could access it easily; reaching her hand in, she felt the cold glass of the potion vial, which she left inside. She couldn't explain away the pink potion by calling it British cough serum.

"What are you teaching?" Marge asked.

"Oh, generic subjects, a bit of everything," Hermione replied, unable to think of a better lie.

"Sounds fun," Marge said, "how long are you planning to stay?"

"Just a few days," Hermione said, "I have a few things that I need to take care of but then I need to head back."

"A few days?" Marge asked, "don't you have a return ticket? It's right after holiday season; tickets are hard to come by."

"Oh, don't worry about me Marge, I'll manage," Hermione said.

"Of course you will, deary," Marge replied, smiling at Hermione, "but I need to run now, I have some pies in the oven that are going to burn."

Marge exited Hermione's kitchen and closed the door quietly behind her. Once Marge was gone, Hermione pulled out her Bell Atlantic phone book and began searching for a listing. The woman who she had told Minerva would be suitable for the position of Muggle Studies teacher was a former colleague of hers. June Kealy was a woman a few years older than Hermione, in her late 40's or early 50's; she had descended from Irish immigrants and was notable in the hospital for having a great sense of humor and for being very accepting of alternate lifestyles; she had even occasionally shown up to work in the hospital wearing clothing that strongly reminded Hermione of something one would find in Madam Malkin's.

Finally Hermione found the listing. Picking up her phone, she began to dial, but she heard no dial tone; the phone company had disconnected her phone.

"Damn it," Hermione cursed, throwing down the phone and glaring at the receiver.

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Lilith sat at her desk in the Charms room waiting for her mother, her teacher, to arrive. She hadn't seen Hermione at breakfast, but no one had told her anything, so Lilith assumed that Hermione had just slept in.

"Good Morning class," Sirius said, walking into the classroom and placing a pile of papers on the desk, on Hermione's desk. "Well, we're all bright and chipper this morning. What happened to your smiles? Leave them at home?" Sirius grinning as he pulled out the attendance list and began taking roll.

Lilith waved her hand in the air, nearly standing up in her seat, causing many in her class to look at her oddly.

"Yes Lilith, I see that you're here," Sirius said, making an exaggerated check on his list.

"No Professor, I…" Lilith said.

"Oh, no you're not here?" Sirius said, "Sure coulda fooled me."

"Professor, I am here; Professor," Lilith sighed as Sirius turned his back and her and began writing on the board. It was almost as if he were ignoring her on purpose. "Professor! Where is my mom, I mean, Professor Potter?"

Sirius stopped writing and turned around, looking at Lilith with an almost pained expression, "Professor Potter is not here today; she is running an errand for the Headmistress. I can't explain anymore at the moment. Now then, today we will be leaning some simple bubble charms. These charms as virtually useless, but very pretty. Just point your wand at the thing you want to put into a bubble and concentrate very hard on a big bubble."

Just then Remus stuck his head into the room.

"Sirius," Remus hissed quietly. Sirius didn't notice him, as Sirius was standing with his back towards the door. "Sirius," Remus hissed again and again he wasn't noticed, as one of the students had just sent his desk flying up into the ceiling with an improperly cast Bubble Charm.

"PADFOOT!" Remus finally hollered, causing Sirius to whip around and causing the class to start laughing.

"Yes Moony?" Sirius asked innocently, "I take it you wish to speak with me."

"Stop being a git and give me a minute of you oh so precious time, Sirius. Or should I call you Snuffles?" Remus said sarcastically, holding the door open for Sirius.

"No, ah, that won't be necessary, Remus," Sirius said, exiting the room. "I'll just be a minute, class, continue practicing," he instructed his class before shutting the door behind him.

Once he was outside, the class erupted in laughter.

"Snuffles?" Celia shrieked, "Snuffles?" Celia was literally rolling on the floor with laughter.

"Well," Rosalind said, "I always knew those two were friends, but I never knew they were friends in that way, if you know what I mean." This comment sent the class into another fit of laughter.

"No, no, really guys," Lilith said, holding onto a desk for support, "my mom and her friends used to call Sirius that when they were owling back and forth with him, you know, before he was cleared from his charges, so that if the letter was intercepted the Ministry wouldn't know who it was from."

"Sure, Lilith," Rosalind said, "that's what you mum wants you to think. Sharing a dorm for all those years; they are both single and living in the same castle, and…"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Rosalind," Kyle, a boy in their year, said, giving her a playful punch on the arm.

"Yes, Rosalind," Remus said, opening the door again, "it doesn't become a lady such as you."

Rosalind turned a bright shade of pink and stammered a reply.

"Don't worry, Rosalind, I didn't hear whatever prompted Kyle to say that to you," Remus said, "Lilith, could Sirius and I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure," Lilith said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Uh, in private? It'll just take a few moments," Remus said. Lilith followed him into the hallway.

"Lilith, about your mother," Sirius said.

"What about her? There's more to it than just running an errand," Lilith said, her hands on her hips in a perfect imitation of her mother.

"Calm down Lilith," Remus said.

"I will not 'calm down'. I want to know where my mother is," Lilith demanded.

"Your mother just had to go back to New York for a bit, to close up your house and speak to some people there on official Hogwarts business," Remus explained, "She is just fine, there is nothing wrong with her. You should be getting an owl from her fairly soon."

"That's it?"

"That's it," Remus said, "You can go back to class now."

Lilith went back into the room, followed closely by Sirius, who stood by the door hesitantly, as if having second thoughts about something.

"Are you sure we should be hiding the truth about Hermione from her own daughter; maybe we should tell her?" Sirius asked.

"Absolutely not," Remus replied, "unless you want to explain that her mother's having a nervous breakdown, dreaming about Harry every night."

Sirius got a pained look on his face, but shook his head in agreement with Remus and went back into the classroom.

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Hermione scribbled June Kealy's phone number on her hand and picked up the phone book so that she could put it on the table; it was very heavy and Hermione's didn't think she could lift it back up to its high shelve.

Reaching the table, which was across the kitchen, Hermione dropped the book and rubbed her sore fingers. Looking up, she saw that had dropped the book on her suitcase; she picked it up so that it would not fall off the table as her suitcase was balance quite precariously on the edge. She went to push it off the piece of luggage, but pulled her hand back quickly.

She looked at her finger. It was bleeding; there was a piece of glass stuck in it. Perplexed, Hermione looked at the phone book. It was still on top of her suitcase, but she realized that it was sopping wet and had a decidedly pink cast to it. The Dreamless Sleep Potion.

Hermione realized that she must have broken the vial holding the potion when she dropped the heavy phone book on it.

Oh shit, Hermione thought; this is the last thing I need right now.

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A/N: Hello readers…we have reached the conclusion of yet another chapter…I tried to make this a bit less depressing than the previous ones…I want my readers to have fun reading…not to become depressed. J

COMING SOON: How will Hermione cope without the potion? What will Sirius and Remus decide to tell Lilith? Will Snape ever forgive Remus for waking him up (don't hold you breath)? AND…What will the new teacher be like (or will she think Hermione crazy for professing to believe in magic)? TUNE IN AT A FANFICTION SITE NEAR YOU

Disclaimer: This is all J.K. Rowling's, not mine so don't sue me

This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful BETA-reader Elvenwren and those wonderful people who have reviewed: Bandy, Misty, Hermione Malfoy, Charly, Nikki, Pro. Seshet (of course this story is better than any BSB or NSYNC stuff, and no the photo was not moving), KasMac16, *Luvli*Lil*Angel*, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed, Bryn, Chona Potter (I must admit I cried at the end of that movie as well), AuthorByNight, Naomi Figg (R/H, sorry, that won't work, H/H all the way), Alphie, Sphinx (sorry that I was unfair to Slytherins, but I'm glad you liked Pansy), Jona, Lily Potter, Thunder Angel, Belle (no, there will be no Remus/Hermione, he is old enough to be her father), Portia (same here, I almost want to bring Harry back, even though it will ruin the plot), Ginny .H. Potter, Dracos_Gurl, Hedwig23, hpobsessed4eva, annonnymous, ~*Lillian Malfoy*~ (hmm, this crying thing seems to be rather popular among my readers), Lindee, Daydreamer (glad I made your night), kittydopter, Ruth Owl (sorry to say, Lilith will not be falling in love with any Slytherins), Madam Serenity, Mary Potter*, Technomad (I partially agree with you, but for the sake of the story one must assume that she gave into her grief, if she hadn't there wouldn't be much of a story), ~*Trist*~ (I adore Remus and Sirius, I must have read Call of the Wild and A Sirius Affair one, or 10, too many times), Princess Sakura, Leap, *hag*(R/H, how could you be R/H?), Cheese Girl, Katie, Arrow, Draco'sGirl, Mike Potter, neha, Michelle Ravel, Kim, Ivi Murffy, Tinabedina, Ennia, Sarah, Phoebe (have you been reading my mind lately?), Jeanne, Sirius Potter, caro, Brittanie, Star Princess, Lily, Chris, nikki, Hari-mad Sol, kylathebold (I agree, OOC seems to plague all authors, just ask my beta-reader how hard it is to write in-character and how often she makes me go back and re-write something, for some reason Sirius is especially hard to keep in-character), Lily Vance, HP FREAK, Dommi, CokeFreak, Arrow, Anya Searu, Daron Ruse (thank you for the compliment), Crystal, tochi, Emily, Stacy, No-I-Don't-Know-Who, UNO, Jade, johna, Orion Black, Morgaine of the Fae, me, ~Trista~, Harry'sLostSister, Mari, Lily Potter, Lily Vance, Katie D. (yes, the students are of all ages), twist, Dark Crystal, Yushia, Cho Chang, Gwen D., Hermione L. Granger, stark-raving-loony, Raina L., Anna Celeste, lil' libra (go libras!), Little Miss Magical, angelwriter, L.C., ~FleurHartz~, Nickzchick and Daydreamer, bookworm, and princess doom

Whew that was long list (that's a good thing)


	8. 

Ethan Frome

"So I'll see you tomorrow at noon in your apartment," Hermione said to June Kealy through the phone. Since Hermione's phone was dead, she had gone over to Marge's house to use the phone; she needed to make a lunch date with June so that Hermione could broach to her the idea of teaching Muggle Studies at Hogwarts.

"It's a date," June replied.

Hermione hung up the phone with a click and left the room to find Marge.

"Marge? Marge?" Hermione called, walking through the house.

"Here I am, deary," Marge said, coming out of the kitchen with an apron tied around her waist, "I was just fixing myself some supper; it is nearly 7 o'clock."

Hermione looked at her wrist before realizing that she didn't wear a watch; the magical wards around Hogwarts caused all watches to be constantly set at 12:34, for some strange reason.

"Would you like to stay and have a bit of supper with me?" Marge asked.

"Oh, thank you for the invitation, but I really must decline," Hermione said politely, "I'm exhausted from traveling all day; I really just want to have a nice hot bath and get to sleep."

Marge laughed. "I know how you feel; I'll just have to have you over tomorrow night then." Marge said as she walked Hermione to the front door. "It is really nice to see you again, Hermione; I'm glad you came to visit, if only for a few days."

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Hermione lay in her warm bubble bath trying to relax. She hadn't been lying to Marge when she said she was tired; Apparating really took a lot of effort, and Hermione had Apparated across the world, literally.

As she rubbed the lavender bubbles into her arm she thought about what she would have to do that night. She was sure that she would be able to manage without the potion; she had drunken nearly half of the vial the previous night, surely its effects would carry over one night until she could somehow get another batch.

Hermione shook her head as she got out of the bath and wrapped herself in her fluffy red bath towel. Using her wand and a quick drying charm, Hermione dried out her hair and slipped on her pajamas; she was wearing a lavender Muggle nightgown with lace around the edges which she had not brought with her to Hogwarts.

Hermione went into her room and lay down in her bed, staying on the left side. It was an unconscious habit; Hermione was never able to sleep on the right side of a bed. That was Harry's side.

Hermione drifted off to sleep peacefully, the moonlight shining in through the window.

__

Hermione sat on the stone bench, rubbing her eyes and trying to compose herself. She had just dropped Lilith off at school and was walking home. She hoped to just crawl back into bed when she got home and sleep until it was time to get Lilith from school.

It was merely two years from the time when Harry had been killed. It should have been her; he should have cast the charm on himself and saved himself. He wouldn't have run away. Hermione would have been happy knowing that he was alive, but he wasn't, and Hermione could barely cope at times. Staying awake, merely staying alive, was a chore, one that frequently she wished she could forego with.

As Hermione sat on the bench, she heard two women walk behind her. She recognized the voices as mothers of students in Lilith's class. She ignored them, until she heard her name.

"What about that new girl?" one mother asked.

"Which one?" the other woman responded, "Oh, do you mean that Lily something."

"Yes, I believe it's Lilith," the first lady said, "What a horrible name. Some sort of witch from the Bible. What sort of mother would name her child after a witch?"

"Well," the second woman said, "you should see the mother. Total mess, probably on welfare. I doubt if that woman has ever done anything worthwhile in her life."

"I know, have you seen her clothing? Virtual rags; looks like she sleeps in them."

"Have you ever seen a father anywhere around?"

"No, and neither has the child. My Alice asked Lilith about her father and she said that her father went away."

The other woman sighed impatiently, "Probably never been married in her life, that mother. I doubt if she can even remember which one the father was."

"Most likely," the first woman said as they walked out of hearing distance.

Hermione let out the sob that she had been containing while the women were near. Never in Hermione's entire life did she ever think she would be spoken of in those term; it would never happen again.

Hermione woke up slowly, blinking slowly in the bright moonlight that flooded into her room like a river. She had gotten up off that park bench, determined to clear her name. She had headed to a small store she knew of, run by a Muggle, that would take grades from magical schools and magical accomplishments and translate them into equivalent Muggle grades. From there she had gone to New York University and applied for undergraduate classes, beginning them as soon as she could.

When Hermione had gotten off that park bench, she had resolved never to be held back by her past. Obviously she still mourned for her Harry, but she had always tried to keep the memories locked in the back of her head; she had never truly reflected on them after that day, especially not Harry's final and fatal sacrifice._  
_Though the dream she had just had had not disturbed her as much as previous dreams had, she couldn't bear the thought of going to sleep without the potion, but she saw no other option; she couldn't make the potion without her potion ingredients and cauldron, neither of which she had brought with her.

Hermione slapped herself mentally; she didn't have the ingredients, but Snape, back at Hogwarts, did. All she would have to do would be to send him an owl and he would make her the potion.

Hermione got out of the bed, went over to where she had put all of her things, and pulled out the sheaf of owl post paper she had brought with her. Selecting one of the pieces that was not soaked with the spilt potion, Hermione wrote Snape a quick letter.

Severus-

During my trip to New York, the vial of Dreamless Sleep Potion, which you were so kind to have made me, broke in my suitcase. Would you please quickly make me another batch? I really need it.

Much Obliged,

Hermione Potter

Hermione folded and sealed the letter, addressing it to Hogwarts c/o Severus Snape. When she stood up, she mentally slapped herself for the second time that night. She didn't have an owl. Hermione really needed the potion, and to get it, she really needed to owl Snape. There was only one solution.

Picking up her wand in one hand and the letter in the other, Hermione Apparated to Kramer Alley using her last remaining strength. Upon arriving, she quickly walked to the Owl Post Office.

"Hello, good evening, how many I help you?" the wizard behind the desk asked Hermione, looking at her strangely, as she was still in her pajamas, which were creased and rumpled from her tossing and turning that had occurred during her nightmare.

"Yes, hello, I'd like to send this letter to Hogwarts," Hermione said, "express owl, please."

The wizard went into a room behind the desk and came out with a large tawny owl. "That'll be 4 Galleons, ma'am."

Hermione reached in the pocket of her robes and mentally slapped herself yet again. She had forgotten her money bag. Hermione was about ready to start hitting her head against the wall.

The wizard looked at Hermione, "Ma'am, you need to give me 4 Galleons before I can send the letter."

"Yes, yes, I know," Hermione said, "I forgot my purse at home, okay? It's been a very long day, and if I cannot send this letter now, it will be an even longer night."

"Um, ma'am, I'm sorry that it's been a bad day for you, but I still need the 4 Galleons."

"Can't you please send the owl on credit? I can pay you tomorrow. I'll give you my name and where you can reach me. Please?"

The wizard looked doubtful. "I'm really not supposed to do that, ma'am."

"Then let me speak to your superior. This letter needs to be sent."

The wizard disappeared into the back room and came out with another wizard, whose was wearing a name tag that proclaimed him to be named Monty.

"Now, what seems to be the problem, lady," Monty said, his clipped American accent making his words seem all the more brusque.

"I have this letter that I really need to send to Hogwarts now, but I forgot my money bag at home and I don't think that I can Apparate there and have enough energy to come back here," Hermione explained desperately, "I just Apparated in from England this afternoon."

"Well, I'm sorry ma'am, but we need to have you pay us," Monty explained.

"Isn't there anything I can do," Hermione pleaded, "I can give you my name and address. I promise I will pay you."

"Alright, just give me your name, ma'am," Monty said, pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill.

"Hermione Potter," Hermione said.

The two men looked at Hermione in disbelief.

"Come off it," Monty said, "you're not THE Hermione Potter. I heard she's teaching at Hogwarts. Why would she be in New York?"

"She is, I mean, I am teaching at Hogwarts, but I needed to run an errand for Minerva McGonagall in New York and I need to send her this letter," Hermione said.

The two wizards still looked doubtful.

"What can I do to prove to you that I am Hermione Potter?" Hermione said, exasperated.

The two wizards whispered between themselves and then the younger one went into the backroom again.

He came out with what Hermione recognized to be a Sneakoscope. She remembered that Harry used to have one; it would squeal all the time. Hermione shook her head; this was no time to be reminiscing.

"Say you name to this here Sneakoscope," Monty said, "and then we'll see if you're lying or not."

"My name is Hermione Potter," Hermione said; the Sneakoscope was silent. "I teach Charms at Hogwarts. I am Head of Gryffindor House. I used to be married to Harry Potter."

Hermione crossed her arms and looked at the two men impatiently. "Well, can I send my letter now? You can track me down at Hogwarts if I forget to pay."

"Oh, no need ma'am, don't worry," Monty said, releasing the owl which carried her letter; the owl swooped out though the window. "You don't need to pay; it's on the house. We're very sorry for the inconvenience. Have a nice night, Mrs. Potter."

"Uh, well," Hermione said, not sure of what to say. She was not used to special treatment because of her name; in the past 11 years her name meant nothing special and at Hogwarts in recent months everyone was her friend, not in awe of her. "Thank you gentlemen. I much appreciate your courtesy."

Hermione headed out of the shop and Apparated home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The cup of instant coffee sat on a coaster on Hermione's desk as she turned the page of the medical journal she was reading. Even though she loved magic and loved Hogwarts, she had also loved her work as a Muggle doctor; she and Harry had planned to attend mediwizard school after the war and learn magical medicine. Of course, those plans had been shattered in a flash of green light.

Hermione rubbed her eyes and blinked quickly. She had been awake for a long time and she was starting to feel very tired; that Apparating, combined her earlier dream, really had exhausted her.

The book slid out of her hands and her eyelids sank, sending Hermione into the realm of dreams for the second time that evening, sweet or otherwise.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

"You, you, bloody idiot!" Sirius shouted, leaning across the table to glare murderously at Snape. After the owl from Hermione had arrived Snape had hurried off to make a new batch of potion, but now a small group of staff members, those who knew Hermione from before, were sitting in the staff room.

"I made her the potion as a favor," Snape said quietly, his hands flat on the desk, pulling him out of his seat a bit. "She broke the vial through her own clumsiness."

"Why you.." Sirius lunged at Snape; it took both Remus and Neville to hold him back.

"Severus, why didn't you put an anti-breaking charm on it? That was highly irresponsible of you" Minerva asked sharply, her patience virtually nil, with the bickering of a certain two staff members severely grating on her nerves.

"Minerva, it was four in the morning," Snape said, "I just didn't have my wand on me and I didn't think Hermione would be so stupid as to break the vial. It's glass; it's fragile. She ought to be smart enough to realize that."

Sirius growled at Snape, causing the potions master to push his seat away from the table, away from Sirius Black. The only staff member actively showing his annoyance with Snape was Sirius, but the rest of the congregated staff, Remus, Neville, Minerva, and Fleur, was glaring at Snape.

"Your attitude is not appreciated, Severus," Minerva said, "Hermione is going through a very difficult time; you would do well to support her, or at least disguise your utterly undeserved contempt, if you wish to remain at Hogwarts. And I do not wish to even start on your hostility and rudeness tonight to your collegues, myself included," Minerva glared at Snape, as if daring him to defy her.

"My apologies if I've hurt your feelings, Minerva," Snape said, throwing up his arms, "but this is incredible; she's having a few bad dreams. So what? I went through living hell after abandoning You-Know-Who; Granger doesn't know what a bad dream is."

"Her name," Remus said crisply, "is Hermione Potter. You ought to at least know the names of you colleagues. I can introduce them to you, if you would bow down to the level of a werewolf." Remus' voice had a decidedly sarcastic edge to it.

"Severus Snape!" Minerva shouted over the din that had erupted after Snape's last comment, "You will change your attitude this instant and start helping Hermione, or you will find yourself without a job very very quickly. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Minerva," Snape said coldly, "but there is nothing anyone can do for Hermione. She must deal with this 'issue' of hers by herself. I can only suggest that she make a Pensieve, but that's only the opinion of a Slytherin. I doubt she will set any store by it." Snape sneered at Sirius who tried to attack him again.

"Sirius, stop that; you are acting remarkable immature; no, Neville, stop, don't do that, Neville; Remus, don't egg them on. Lay down your wands this instant, all of you or you are all fired," Minerva bellowed, standing on her chair and waving her arms in the air, her face flushed red, "NO, Fleur, not you too, please everyone STOP; YOU WILL ALL BE FIRED, stop this brawl. AHH! Aim that thing away from me Remus," Minerva said as she ducked out the way of a renegade hex. She stomped out the room, throwing her hands up in exasperation as the staff room behind her dissolved into a scene more reminiscent of a brawl after a Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch game than the workplace of the magical world's smartest wizards and witches.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

_The emergency room was a chaotic scene when Hermione walked in through the double glass doors to begin her night shift. There were doctors in lab coats and nurses in aprons rushing back and forth, pushing gurneys on which rested numerous patients. There were more people in the emergency room than Hermione had ever seen._

"Dr. Granger, Dr. Granger," Marcie, a nurse Hermione knew, rushed over to her, "thank the lord you're here. We are in a complete mess; there was some sort of explosion and we have all these patients in here. We don't know what happened; all the patients seem crazy." Marcie ran her hands threw her hair, which was matted to her head.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"We asked a few what happened, and, and," Marcie handed Hermione the record sheet, "they all have this ridiculous story of people in black cloaks and masks appearing in the street."

Hermione was speechless. It couldn't be. Could it?  
Mistaking Hermione's silence for something other than what it was, Marcie continued, "It gets better. Then they all say that these other people suddenly appear wearing purple robes and pointing sticks at the black cloaked people. According to this one guy who was close enough to hear what they were saying, they said something like 'Put down your wands; Voldemort will never win.' Then both sides pointed their sticks at each other and there was an explosion."

"Really?" Hermione's voice was squeaky. Marcie's account of the event left no doubt in Hermione's mind.

"Yea," Marcie said, shaking her head, "we don't know what really happened though. We just have to deal with the injured and.."

Marcie was cut off by a gurney which flew past them.

"Dr. Granger, help us," a man pushing it called to her. Hermione waved to Marcie and followed the gurney into the corner.

The head doctor, Hermione recognized him as Lee Johnson, handed Hermione a pair of gloves which she put on. Dr. Johnson pulled down the sheet that had covered the body. Hermione gasped.

It was Seamus.

He was wearing a purple robe, which Hermione immediately recognized as the uniform of an Auror.

"Dr. Granger? Dr. Granger?" Dr. Johnson asked her, tapping her shoulder, "We need to fix his left leg."

"What's the matter with it?" Hermione said, trying to overcome her shock.

"Well, it appears that, well, uh, this is a first," Dr. Johnson said, his confusion apparent in his voice.

"Pardon?" Hermione knew that the team of Muggle doctors she worked with would be unable to do anything for Seamus, if he had indeed been wounded in a magical battle.

"Well," Dr. Johnson said slowly, "it appears as if there is no bone."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"Look," Dr. Johnson poked Seamus' leg; it looked like he was playing with putty.

"What can we do?" Hermione said. This was a relatively minor injury; once Seamus regained consciousness and got himself to St. Mungo's, it could be dealt with in no time, but she doubted that her hospital had Skelegrow in its pharmacy.

"I'm going to get someone to help us, in the meantime you try to find some ID on this man," Dr. Johnson let the curtain fall closed behind him as he left, muttering something about the effect of combining sleep deprivation, Advil and too much caffeine.

Hermione raised her hand to her face and felt the moisture in her eyes. Tears. It had been 7 years since she had seen a wizard or witch. Why must it happen under these circumstances?

She looked at Seamus, lying unconscious on the gurney, and silently cursed at him for coming into her life. Why couldn't he just go away? Sighing, Hermione looked for ID, not for a wallet, but for magical ID. She might be living as a Muggle, but she didn't want Dr. Johnson to find Seamus' Apparition license.

She took her knife and slit the front of the purple robe, revealing a hidden pocket that every Auror had. She pulled out the parcel in the pocket and untied the ribbon that bound everything together.

On the top was an Apparition license, under it was a card identifying Seamus as an Auror, 2nd class, and the third piece of paper was a letter carrying instruction as to what should be done with Seamus, should he be found dead. Hermione knew that there was something else in the pocket. She felt around and found what she had been looking for. A wand.

Hermione slipped Seamus' wand into her pocket and held the rest of the papers in her hand, just looking at them for a moment. Then she slipped them into the bin marked Biological Waste: DO NOT OPEN. That would hide them from Muggle eyes, should Seamus' body be examined.

That taken care of, Hermione took his wand out of her pocket and, looking around to make sure she was alone, tapped Seamus' leg gently. The flesh filled out as the bone re-grew itself. Hermione checked to make sure that it was okay, then slipped Seamus' wand into the disposal bin with the rest of the papers.

The curtains rustled.

"Dr. Johnson," Hermione said hurriedly, "there was no identification on this man."

"Excuse me?" said a man's voice.

Hermione looked up and realized that it was not Dr. Johnson. It very much wasn't Dr. Johnson. It was Dean, and he was looking at Hermione. Hermione moved her arm so as to block her name tag.

"What authorization do you have to be here?" Hermione demanded, willing her voice to remain steady.

"None, ma'am," Dean said, "I've just come to take this man with me."

"Excuse me, you cannot just take my patient with you!" Hermione said.

Dean looked at Seamus, taking in the slit robe with the empty emergency pocket; he probed Seamus' leg, feeling the new bone. Confused, he bent down for a closer look and saw the small star-shaped mark that had been left by the recent bone-growing charm.

Dean raised his head and looked at Hermione's face thoughtfully.

"And what may your name be, doctor?" Dean asked, searching Hermione's face for something.

"That, mister, is none of your business," Hermione said, "And you will leave now, before I call security!" Hermione pointed her finger at the curtain.

Dean looked quickly at the nametag, which Hermione had mistakenly uncovered. Hermione quickly covered her name up again.

"Well, I saw a 'G'," Dean said, grinning slightly, his eyes shifting from Seamus to Hermione quickly, "So, Dr. G, I'll just be taking this chap with me. Must be getting back; his mum will start worrying."

"You, uh, shouldn't transport an unconscious man," Hermione said, grasping at straws, "Seamus could get hurt."

Hermione wanted to slap herself; Dean hadn't told her Seamus' name. Dean caught Hermione's error.

"How did you know my friend's name? Did you find any ID on him? Driver's license?" Dean asked, almost mockingly.

Hermione just stared at Dean, their eyes meeting. "Just, just, take your friend, Seamus, whatever his name is, and get out before my superior gets back and starts asking questions."

Dean unlocked the wheels of the gurney, pushing it slowly and carefully away. Before he exited the curtain, Dean turned to Hermione and looked her in the eye. Hermione could feel the tears beginning to well up in her eyes, and she knew that Dean could tell.

"Whatever floats your boat," Dean muttered, pushing the gurney away, "Dr. Granger."

When Dean left, Hermione sat down on the floor and put her head in her hands. She began to cry.

"Why can't you leave well enough alone?"

Hermione was woken by the scratching of an owl on her window. Dazed, she opened the window and allowed the owl to deliver its parcel, a vial of pink potion with a small note identifying the potion as a Dreamless Sleep Potion.

This is only a few hours late, Hermione thought wryly as she drank a big mouthful of the potion. Wiping her mouth, Hermione thought back to her dream; Dr. Johnson had come back into the room and found Hermione on the floor weeping. He had assumed that the patient had passed away and the body had been taken away for autopsy. Instead of asking questions, he had just helped Hermione up to an empty room and let her sleep on the hospital bed. Hermione had lain in bed for two days trying to reconcile her emotions after the encounter.

After she was sure that no one had made any attempts to contact her, Hermione had gotten out of the bed and gone home, eventually pushing the meeting towards the back of her mind, to be stored with the other memories of magic and Harry.

Shaking her head as if to clear it of the memory of the expression on Dean's face, Hermione looked at the wall clock. It read 11:00.

Oh damn, Hermione thought, I'm going to be late to the meeting with June.

And with that, Hermione grabbed her cloak and ran out of the door, pushing the memory of her two recent dreams into the back of her head where they had lived for 11 years, but they would be back, oh yes, they would be back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Hermione sipped the cup of lavender tea that June had made her. Hermione and June were sitting in June's living room, chatting about an assortment of topics; Hermione had yet to mention Hogwarts or the real reason that she had come to New York.

"So, where in England are you living?" June asked, spooning some sugar into her tea.

This was the perfect moment to bring up Hogwarts, "Well," Hermione replied, "I'm not actually living anywhere in England that you would find on a map."

"Oh," June laughed, "my grandparents lived in a town like that in Ireland. There were 10 inhabitants on a good day."

"That's not exactly what I was talking about," Hermione responded, putting down her teacup.

"Then what were you talking about. I am all ears; I love an interesting story," June replied. Hermione had just opened her mouth when there was a loud *crash* from the back of the apartment, followed by what Hermione could have sworn was a hoot.

A teenage girl, about Lilith's age, came into the room; she had a look of trepidation on her face.

"Vikki, this is Hermione," June introduced them, "Hermione, this is my granddaughter Vikki."

Hermione put her hand out to shake with Vikki. Vikki went to shake her hand, but she quickly transferred an object from her right hand to her left hand. The object appeared to be a piece of wood, a strangely smooth, long piece of wood. If Hermione's eyes weren't fooling her, she would have sworn it was a wand.

"Vikki," June said, her hands on her hips, "what happened?"

"Well, I didn't mean it Grandma," Vikki said, "I was just trying to reach one of my books that is on the top of my bookshelves and I knocked over Cicero's cage."

"Cicero?" Hermione asked.

"He's my pet owl," Vikki said.

"Really?" Hermione said, looking at Vikki carefully, "Why do you have a pet owl?"

"Well, he's so great and helpful and…"

"Vikki," June interrupted, her eyes darting to Hermione, "we'll talk about this later. We wouldn't want to bore our guest.

Vikki turned to go back into her bedroom, but Hermione stopped her. "Wait, Vikki, you should join us for this conversation. Maybe you can let me look at your owl if he's injured; I'm not expert at owl care, but my own mail owl gets injured sometimes."

Vikki and June just stared at Hermione. "Your own mail owl? Hermione," June said, "are you, a, you know?"

"Witch?" Hermione answered, "yes I am, and that is actually the basis of what I needed to speak to you about."

June and Vikki sat down on the couch, listening to Hermione.

"For a variety of reasons, I lived as a Muggle for 11 years in New York, eventually becoming a doctor at the hospital, but you know that part of the story."

June nodded her head.

"Well, I returned to the magical world a few months ago, to teach at a school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The school has just re-opened after the war and we are in need of some teachers," Hermione said, "We are in dire need of a Muggle Studies teacher; we just can't seem to find any witches or wizards who want the job. It was suggested that we hire a Muggle, and I suggested you. So basically, I came here to ask if you want to come to England and teach at Hogwarts. I was going to have to explain to you all about magic, but since it appears your granddaughter is a witch, it seems you would know a fair bit already."

"Well yes, I do," June sa0id, "that is certainly an interesting job proposition. What exactly is 'Muggle Studies'?"

"It's just a course on Muggles, basic history, electronics, cooking," Hermione said, "It's mainly about how Muggle cope without magic as well as a brief introduction to major events, especially those that correspond with events in the wizarding world."

"I didn't know that there were events that corresponded," June said, picking up the piece of parchment that Hermione had given her.

"Oh, of course there are," Hermione said, "World War II for sure, and the Black Plague was supposedly the result of a death curse."

"A what?" June asked.

"A death curse, one wizard killed another and with his dying breathe he cursed the wizard, legend has it that the curse was 'What you love most shall perish, you rat you,'" Hermione said, "but the other wizard was talented so he managed to alter it such that all the rats would perish, and you know the rest."

"That's fascinating, we never learned that in my history class," June said, "This must be the contract then," June said, pointing at the parchment she held in her hand.

"Yes, it explains all the details about the job, including living arraignments and pay," Hermione said.

"What about me?" Vikki asked.

"What about you?" Hermione responded.

"I go to the Appalachian School of Magic," Vikki said, "I'm on vacation this week. If Grandma took the job in England, what would I do?"

"Well, she wouldn't be starting until the next school year, and if you wanted to come with her and go to Hogwarts you can, or you can stay here and see each other during vacations. You could take a Portkey to Hogwarts to be with her."

"I think my mum went to Hogwarts," Vikki said suddenly.

"Pardon?" Hermione asked.

"My daughter in law was a witch, she married my son and had Vikki, but they both died in that big war," June said, "and I think your mum went to school in France, unless this is some magical thing that lets a school be in both France and England at the same time. From what I know of the magical world I wouldn't be at all shocked."

Hermione laughed, "Actually, there's another school in France, Beauxbatons," Hermione said, "but June, what exactly do you know of the magical world. Minerva, that's the Headmistress' name, wanted you to spend the summer at Hogwarts learning basic magic so that you can relate to your students better, and be able to recognize pranks, " Hermione added wryly.

"Oh, I know basic facts," June said, "when Vikki got her school books earlier this year I read them all, but I obviously wasn't able to do any of the magic."

"Actually, June," Hermione replied, "Muggles are able to make simple potions that don't require additional charms, just basic ones though."

"Really?" June said, obviously interested, "do you think you could teach me any of them?"

"You'll have to speak to Severus Snape about that, he's the potion master," Hermione said, "but from what I know of him, he'd rather be fed to blast-ended skrewts than do anything helpful."

"Hermione Granger," June said, shocked, "I've never known you to speak of someone like that."

"Hermione Granger?" Lilith asked, "your name sounds familiar. Are you famous or something?"

"Vikki," June said, shocked, "that was extraordinarily rude. I'm very sorry Hermione."

"No, no, there's no need to apologize," Hermione said, "Yes, Vikki, I imagine my name would appear in a few history texts as a part of the second Voldemort War."

"Why exactly?" Vikki said, "We haven't gotten up to that part, I was just reading ahead, history is one of my favorite subjects so I like reading about it as much as I can."

"Well," Hermione said, "there are probably a number of reasons. I was a leader of the Aurors at the beginning, and I attended Hogwarts and was involved directly with the initial rise of Voldemort."

"No," Vikki said, "I don't think it was anything like that. Could it have been anything else?"

"The only other thing I can think of was that I was married to Harry Potter," Hermione said quietly; she hated being recognized by being Harry's wife.

"Yes, yes that must be it," Vikki said, "A few girls in my dorms, full witches who grew up in the magical world, must have mentioned your name sometime. That's really cool, " Vikki said, her voice slightly awed, "Wow, that'd be amazing to really be involved in history like that."

"It was, at times," Hermione said, "so June," she said, switching topics quickly, "do you think that you will consider the job? We'd love to have you on staff with us."

"I'm not sure," June said, "it sounds fascinating, but I need to give it more consideration."

"You think about that, and I must be going now, just owl me with your mail owl at Hogwarts with any questions you have," Hermione said.

June and Vikki showed her out the door. Hermione had enjoyed her visit, she liked June's company, but she hated being recognized for her fame. She didn't feel deserving of it; after all, she had run away, and Harry had died saving her. If only she hadn't been there that day. But she was, and there was no changing that, not then, not now, not ever.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

When Hermione got home to her apartment she found a few letters waiting for her, presumably delivered by the brown owl sitting on her kitchen table.

She went through the letters, nothing special except for two letters, one from Lilith and one from Sirius and Remus.

Dear Mom,

Lucky you, you get to visit New York, while I have to stay in school. Hmph. Not fair, and you haven't written me any letters yet. Remus and Sirius said that you would. Do you think that there is a way that you could give the attached letter to Donna? (You'd never imagine how hard it is to find normal paper in this school! Only parchment.)

Seriously, Remus and Sirius were leaving something out when they told me why you were going to New York. If it were just to interview the teacher why didn't you tell me before you went? Was it some kind of emergency?

-Lilith

Hermione ran her hand through her hair, sighing. She would have to deal with Lilith when she got back to school; Lilith deserved the truth, but Hermione understood that it wasn't Remus' or Sirius' place to tell it to Lilith. It was her job, as a mother.

Sirius and Remus' letter was a bit more cryptic.

Hermione,

How is New York treating you? We hope you are fine. I (Remus) told Sirius about your nightmares; I thought he could be trusted, unlike Snape, whom I unfortunately also had to tell about them; I couldn't think up any other story to tell him at 4 in the morning when I woke him up. I hope you understand. Sirius has been furious at Snape for not agreeing to help you immediately and then forgetting to charm the vial unbreakable. They have already had a number of fights, including one in the middle of the staff meeting. Poor Neville had to go the infirmary.

Before Sirius and Snape disrupted the meeting by attacking each other, Snape had mentioned that when he was having issues after he abandoned Voldemort making a Pensieve helped him. He didn't get to elaborate, but maybe you have heard of something like that in a book of yours? I'll look for some mention of it in the library.

We hope to see you soon; we have been teaching your Charms classes, so don't worry about that, everything has been going smoothly.

-Remus Lupin

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ 

A/N: I am profusely sorry for how long it took for this chapter to come out. The reasons were that it was fairly long and I had real life to deal with (real life can be such a pain at times).

COMING SOON: The big conclusion…will Hermione ever get over the nightmares?…what was Snape talking about when he mentioned a Pensieve?…what will Hermione tell her daughter?

After the next chapter there will be a short epilogue…this plan may change, but as of now this seems like what I will be doing.

THANK YOU SECTION: I will not be writing all the names of the people who have reviewed this story; it will take too long and I want to post this as soon as I can.

This chapter is especially dedicated to Melee, for helping me cope with real life so that this chapter could be posted before next year. Thank You!


	9. Catharsis

Hermione's Grief 

Hermione's Grief

Chapter 9 - Catharsis

Author Name: Misch

Author Email: SmallSarah@aol.com

Category: Angst

Keywords: Post-Hogwarts; H/H; Sirius; Angst; Death

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: All

Summary: War creates misery, as Hermione has learned in the aftermath of the war against Voldemort, which left Harry and Ron both dead. How will she deal with her grief? Will running away and living as a Muggle really help?

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The quote Harry says in his last line is an adaptation of a quote from George Orwell's 1984. Great book.

Author Note: The last chapter…kudos to Emma for the best review, note cameo. Epilogue will be next, and then a new fic. Happy Reading!

For those reading this on FF.net, get yourselves over to www.schnoogle.com, my author name there is Misch, review there pretty please (if you review there and say you came from here you'll get a cookie!). Sorry it took so long, this has been up on Schnoogle for a while, just totally forgot to upload it to ff.net (plus the fact that ff.net keeps crashing)

~*~

"Here, one Muggle Studies teacher hired," Hermione dropped the scroll of parchment on Minerva's desk. She had remained in New York one week after her initial meeting with June and then had returned once June had given her the signed contract. One task out of the way.

For the week that she had remained in New York she had lived on the Dreamless Sleep potion, having found an Apothecary store in Kramer Alley that would make her new batches whenever she needed them, which turned out to be quite frequently. As the week had progressed she had noted with some dismay that she was using more and more potion each night as her body slowly became immune to its effects. By the end of the week she had been going through nearly an entire bottle a night.

"This is certainly some good news. I could use a bit more of this type of news of late, Hermione, thank you," Minerva said, going through the document.

"June told me that she would be able to begin as soon as this September as long as we can take her daughter, Vikki, in as a student."

"Well, I don't see why we can't. Her mother was quite nice, if I remember correctly, Beauxbatons alumna, if I remember correctly. Of course we'll take Vikki on as a student," Minerva said. Hermione noticed that Minerva had bags under her eyes and seemed to be talking in a fairly muddled manner.

"Minerva, is everything alright? You seem a tad stressed. Anything I could do to help you?" Hermione asked , honestly concerned. If Minerva McGonagall was out of it, what was the world coming to?

"Oh no, no, I'm quite fine, you just run along now. That's it. I expect that Lilith will be wanting to speak to you," Minerva said as she waved Hermione out of her office. Once Hermione had shut to door behind her, Minerva put her head on her desk. "Oh, no, everything's all right. Except that my best staff member is going insane and I'm having serious concerns that she may need to be sent to St. Mungo's. But besides that, oh, everything's alright. "

~*~

"Eeek!"

"Umph!"

The two students who had been snogging on the couch in the Gryffindor common room quickly fell off of it upon the entrance of Hermione.

"Um…Is there anything I can do to help Professor Potter?" the girl who was cringing behind the red sofa squeaked.

"Oh, don't worry about it Celia," Hermione said, "I just need to speak to my daughter. Carry on. And I won't tell your parents."

As Hermione headed up the stairs she heard a sigh of relief behind her. The greenhouses were a decidedly more private place to do some serious snogging, Hermione though, not that I would know.

The plank in front of Lilith's dorm was charmed with a squeaking charm…all the teachers knew that…and none of the students knew that the teachers knew. It was simple to avoid. But Hermione didn't, because she didn't want to hide anything from Lilith anymore, be it the dreams, or simply her approach.

*squeak*

Hermione placed both feet firmly on the plank, and as is squeaked she heard squeals of laughter and mirth from inside the room…Lilith's resounded the loudest of them all…or perhaps that was simply Hermione's imagination. Rosalind stuck her head out of the door and looked around.

"Oh…Professor Potter! I see you're back…I hope your trip was fun," Rosalind said, stepping outside and pulling the door closed behind her.

"It was wonderful Rosalind…could I just step inside for a moment; I need to speak to Lilith."

Rosalind breathed a shoddily masked sigh of relief. "Oh…it's just Lilith…I thought…"

"Yes? What did you think I wanted?"

"Umm….to speak to Lilith…she is your daughter you know. Well, of course you know but I just thought that you would want to speak to her. Which you do. So I'll get her. Now. Right…okay." Rosalind slipped back inside the room. Hermione could barely conceal her smile. Rosalind was not being very subtle about the existence of something that they obviously did not want Hermione to find.

"Mom!" Lilith came out of the door and gave her mother a big hug and kiss on the cheek. "Oh…lucky ducky…got to go to New York. I wish I could have come."

"But you would have missed school," Hermione said, giving her daughter a kiss.

"Right…that's kind of the point," Lilith said. "So what's the deal?"

"Oh nothing much, I just wanted to speak to you for a bit and explain why I went so suddenly."

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea. I've only been worrying that someone had died since I got back to school. And Professors Black and Lupin have not exactly been what you'd call helpful."

"No…no one died. I would have told you if they had. But let's go to my apartment to discuss this. And we'll go through the backdoor. I think Celia wants some privacy."

~*~

"Hermione got back….Moony stop moaning, you sound like you're dying…I hope she's better, that trip should have done her some good," Sirius said as he tended to his friend's wounds. The previous night had been a full moon and Remus had gotten into a nasty scrape with a unicorn and had definitely come off the worse for it. He was covered in scrapes and bruises from head to toe which Sirius was currently dabbing with a purple elixir, turning Remus into what appeared to be a fairly hairy, man-shaped piece of cotton candy.

"Oh god, Sirius, do not prod me," Remus said, feebly trying to push away Sirius.

"Don't worry, what's that from?" Sirius said as he pointed a particularly nasty bruise.

"Ur…I think that was a hoof, or a horn. Wait, actually that was a rock."

"A rock?"

"Um, yeah. I tripped over one walking back this morning," Remus said quietly.

"You're a klutz, Moony. Anyway…what I was saying was that Hermione's back."

"I heard you the first time, Padfoot. I'm not deaf. And anyway, she sent an owl yesterday saying that she'd be back today. She's talking to Lilith now, explaining everything."

"What? How'd you know that?"

"I just said. She sent an owl. I left it on your desk. Didn't you check your inbox?"

"Uh…maybe not."

"Obviously, ow, careful Sirius. Just imagine that there's a big 'Do Not Break' sign next to me'." Remus shouted.

"Sorry, sorry. Should we go get her and welcome her home?"

"Hmm…in a bit. Let's give her some time to explain everything to Lilith. I expect that she'll come get us when she needs our help. She said in the letter that she wanted some support while talking to Snape about the Pensieve."

"What sort of support?"

"I'm not sure, but if it requires any movement on my part other than talking I'll leave it to you," Remus said, straightening the bandage over his leg.

"Right, Moony. In other words the unicorn kicked you too hard so if she needs someone to convince Snape to do anything I get to?"

"Yeah, basically," Remus said, trying to stand up and failing miserably, falling back onto the cot. He sighed. "Could you give me a hand over to that stack of books in the corner? We need to discuss this Pensieve idea. I'm not entirely keen on leaving Hermione's mental health up to Snape."

"Neither am I. Okay…I was looked in _Magical Remedies for Your Mind_ and found a few references to it, but I think that the biggest help so far as been _Freudian Illnesses and Cures for the Modern Wizard_, which gave a suggested ingredient list for a Pensieve for this use. It had," Sirius ruffled through a stack of papers on his desk, " 2 pinches of asphodel, one snoodian, 2 cc of dragon's blood…"

~*~

"So that's it?" Lilith asked, bemused.

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" Hermione asked, shocked.

"The only reason you went to New York was because Professor McGonagall thought you ought to get away from the magic because you were having bad dream about Dad?"

"Well…when you put it like that, sure, it sounds pathetic, but there's a bit more to it than that. Wizards and witches, especially powerful ones like your father and I, experience lives that are vastly different from the Muggles among which you were raised. Especially when living through a war, like your father and I did. I…I can't explain it you any better than that. The horrors…the dread…the sickening happenings that occur during magical warfare truly have to be experienced to fully comprehend them. I can only hope you never do…but I did and lived to tell the tale. I suppose then that's it. Bad dreams."

"Oh…um…is there anything I can do then mom?" Lilith asked, putting her arms around her mother as they sat on the couch in Hermione's apartment.

"No, deary, but don't worry about me; I'll be fine. Severus, Professor Snape I mean, has some suggestions about what I should be doing and it'll all turn out fine."

"That's good. Um…mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask a question?"

"Absolutely."

"What are the dreams about?"

Hermione breathed sharply. She had hoped that Lilith wouldn't ask that, but she knew that she would. Lilith was like her at 15, painfully curious. "Well," Hermione began, "lots of things, mostly about your father and I during the war fighting. Winning. Losing."

There was a moment of silence. "Losing mom? I thought you won?"

"We did. But that doesn't mean everyone survived," Hermione said in a heavy tone that pointed out the obvious without words.

"I see," Lilith said softly as her mother pulled her in tightly and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"Lilith?"

"Yes?"

"Now can I ask you a question?"

"Uh…sure. Why not?"

"What did Rosalind think I had come to your dorm about?"

Lilith's eyes opened wide with the fright of one who needed to conceal the truth but had been caught without any lies prepared. "Well…uh…while you were away I…uh… snuckintoyourroomandtookthephotoalbumofyouanddad."

"Really? Do you think you could repeat that, this time with pauses?"

"Hehe…while you were in New York I borrowed that photo album…you know, the one that you said someone gave Dad when he was little, the one with pictures of his parents and then of your wedding in the back…I showed it to the people in my dorm…they…uh…wanted to see like what you looked like when you were little. And there were some funny pictures of Professors Lupin and Black at your wedding…"

"The ones with Sirius in that purple tux?"

"Yeah…and the one of Professor Lupin sinking in that mud puddle…you know…the one where he had green hair?"

"Of course. And Lilith?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not mad, but just return the album intact."

"Don't worry."

"I never do, but if it isn't I'm thinking a 300 point deduction?"

Lilith gulped nervously. "I'll go get it right now mom." She jumped off the chair and dashed out of the door, presumably to run back to her dorm.

~*~

Hermione rapped sharply on the door of the potions lab. She had spoken to Remus and Sirius just before she had headed to lunch and explained to them that she felt that this was one task that she wished to attempt by herself. They had agreed with her but had given her all of the notes they had taken that they felt might be of help to her and allowed her to go only once she had promised to call them if she needed any help.

Snape pulled the door open. "What do you…Oh Hermione, what a pleasure to see you again" he sounded as if it pained him to say just that.

"As it is for me. Should I come back later? You seem to be in the middle of a class right now," Hermione said, peering over his shoulder and winking at Lilith who was hunched over her cauldron measuring dried frog powder, it appeared.

"Oh, no, no problem," Snape led her to the front of the room a rapped sharply on his desk. "Class dismissed. Get out now. I'll keep an eye on the cauldrons and you come back in an hour to finish the potion." He glared at the class of students who were sitting at their desks wondering if Snape had finally cracked. He NEVER let a class out early. "What didn't you dunderheads get!? Get out. NOW!" The class finally found their feet and dashed out of the door before Snape could change his mind.

Hermione coughed nervously.

"Ah yes. Hermione. What do you need?" Snape said, sitting at his desk and motioning for Hermione to sit on the table directly in front of it. Hermione wondered why she felt as if she was about to receive a lecture about proper conduct in a Potions lab rather than that she was in a meeting with a colleague.

"Well, while I was in New York Remus wrote to me that you had mentioned at a staff meeting that perhaps a Pensieve used in some manner might be able to help me. Remus, Sirius, and I looked through some books and came up with some information about it but we thought that perhaps you could look over it before I did anything." Hermione handed the rolls of parchment to Snape who looked over them in silence.

"It appears as though your research is correct. But for the Pensieve to work you need to understand why it will work. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Explain."

"Well…uh…the Pensieve causes me to…um…remember what happened so that…"

Snape cut her off. "No, you don't know how it works. I will explain. The Pensieve, when made using the special directions that I have right here, instead of holding memories you place into it, will search through your mind for memories similar to the one that you put in as part of the spell. Understand?"

"Yes, so far."

"While it is looking for these similar memories each memory is reviewed by your concious mind. As a result, later, after having used the Pensieve, while you dream, if a memory that has been reviewed by means of the Pensieve comes up, then your mind will not play through it because it already has. The memory becomes old news. Done. Happened. Boring."

"I see. But how will the Pensieve know what type of memory to look for?"

"Simple. While making the Pensieve, part of the spell involves adding a memory that you already have dreamed. Simply select a memory that disturbed you and add it to the spell and all like that will be sorted. I assume these dreams all have a common thread?"

Hermione thought of Harry. "Yes, of course they do."

"Good. The spell will take only a few hours to complete as it is a fairly easy set of directions. A marvel of magic. Such a simple spell creates such a powerful and complex object. Simply marvelous combination of potions and charms combined. I have most of the ingredients right here but you will need to go to Diagon Alley to get the rest. Are you free the rest of the afternoon?"

"I believe so. If you'll just point out which ingredients I will need to purchase I'll run down right now and I can start on the spell when I get back."

"Purchase a stone basin, a few stalks of wild dragonweed, 10 cc of dried pheonix tears, and a few cubes of frozen mercury."

"Okay, I'll charge them to the Hogwarts account we have at the Apothecary." Hermione gathered up the bundle of papers and put them neatly back into her bag. As she strode out of the door she wondered why Snape had been so nice and…and helpful. It was just not him. Snape was one of those people for whom acting nicely made everyone else around them very very suspicious. Hermione thought that he would snap out of it soon and everything would return to normal. Meanwhile though, she had her own set of problems to deal with…

~*~

The bells jangled softly as Hermione entered the small, dark Apothecary on Diagon Alley. All around her the walls were covered with jars, boxes, crates, and bowls filled to the brim with strange items. Though she had been to the store many times it never ceased to amaze her how many unusual items found their way onto their shelves for some reason or another.

"Hello, my name is Emma. Is there anyway I can be of service to you?" a helpful, young storeclerk said as she appeared in the middle of the shop, giving Hermione as dreadful fright.

"Ah, yes there is actually," Hermione handed the list of items to the store clerk. She took the list and examined it through a pair of strange spectacles that appeared to be made of a metal that constantly changed color. They made Hermione dizzy.

"What sort of basin would you like ma'am?" Emma asked her politely.

"I'm not sure. What sort would you recommend for making a Pensieve?"

"I'd recommend if you're planning to display it or show it around you might want a higher end basin. We have models in gold, silver, and a marvelous one of kind one made out of the skull of a dragon…"

Hermione interrupted her. "No, I don't think that's what I'm looking for. Perhaps something a bit cheaper. This is going to be stored in my closet. Looks don't matter; I'd prefer a quality basin over a stylish one."

Emma looked a little disappointed over the loss of the profits his store would make but a smile quickly returned to his face as he led Hermione to a back room. "Here is our collection of stone basins perfect for any Pensieve. We have marble, granite, dwarf mined alabaster (straight from the mines in Albania, highly recommend), as well as a collection of basins made out of stones taken from Egyptian tombs. They are said to have a high concentration of magic. Very helpful for the less powerful witch."

"No," Hermione said coldly. "I don't think I'll be needing one of those. I think I'll just be taking a plain marble one, medium size. Yes, that polished black one over there. No, not that one, the other one. Yes, that's perfect." Hermione pointed to the one that she wanted and the clerk levitated it over to the cash register. While they had been in the back room, apparently, the assistants had collected and bagged the rest of Hermione's purchases, for they were waiting for her on the counter.

Emma totaled up the purchases.

"That will be 30 galleons, ma'am," Ted said, putting out his hand.

Hermione whistled quietly about the price of potion ingredients but handed over the gold without a complaint. After all, she needed the basin. Gold wouldn't be of much help to her.

~*~

Hermione was in her apartment laying out the potions ingredients she had purchased. It was time. She had set everything up exactly according to the parchment that Snape had reviewed, which had been written by Remus and Sirius…it was a foolproof plan. It really was. So why was she so nervous?

Perhaps it was because she was venturing into unknown territory, the type that - had it been on a map- would have been labeled "Here Be Dragons". But this was in her own head…and that made it all the more terrifying.

What the bloody hell am I doing, Hermione thought to herself, I've been trying to avoid these memories for months and now I'm going through my mind _looking_ for them. Am I insane? Actually, she reflected, she was doing this to prevent going insane. Her brow furrowed as she tried to work out the logic of this and decided to leave it well enough alone.

She dropped the mercury into the stone basin where it sizzled for a moment before turning the potion a silvery red. Hermione peered into the basin, seeing her own reflection in its depths. She consulted her parchment and added exactly - no more no less - 1.735 cc of powdered Ramora scales.

The potion swirled, as if it was being mixed by a phantom. This was the moment; Hermione touched her wand to her head, focused on Harry, and removed a memory, dropping the silvery wisp into the basin. It turned a familiar shade of green.

The last thought that Hermione remembered before her mind plunged into the Pensieve was that the green of the potion was the exact shade of Harry's eyes.

~*~

"So, she got back safely with the ingredients then?" Remus asked Snape over dinner. He had last seen Hermione leaving the castle to head out to the store.

"Yes, she came by my office and I told her the best place to make the Pensieve was her own apartment," Snape replied.

"Good idea," Sirius chimed in, "those things are a bugger to move."

Snape glared coldly at Sirius, irked by the casual way in which Sirius talked about his potions.

"How long will it take?" Remus asked, trying to stopper the sudden tension.

"It really depends on the individual, but I estimate that Hermione will be able to complete it by the morning," Snape said.

"And you don't think that there will be any…uh…complications?" Remus said hesitantly, as if he didn't really want the answer.

"Of course not, I looked over her directions," Snape snapped, "as long as she remembers the Control Charm after the Remora scales it's foolproof. I doubt even Longbottom could fool it up." Snape said, arching his eyebrows in a condescending manner as only Snape could do. "Honestly, werewolf, it'll be fine."

~*~

Hermione felt like she was falling, falling through a sea of green mist. As she fell she gradually became aware of an odd tingling in her mind, as if something was trying to get inside her head.

She was quite wrong. Nothing was trying to get in. Her memories were trying to get out.

Through the mist Hermione could she blobs. People-shaped blobs. As the tingling grew in intensity the blobs grew in definition until she could see distinctive features on their faces.

Oh god help me, Hermione thought, as the mist disappeared and she landed in a different world. A world created entirely by her memories. This wasn't supposed to happen like this; it's not supposed to be a different world. Looking to the horizon, Hermione saw a blurry layer, and through the layer she could vaguely see her apartment. But between her and her haven she could see her memories swarming around. She had no choice. Willing herself to be strong, she looked toward the horizon…and began to run.

_Harry and Hermione strolled together along the banks of the small stream as it trickled its way through Sherwood Forest. Hermione could hear a sparrow chirping happily in the tree. They walked in a contented silence, hands entwined around waists and feet in sync…as were their hearts. They were 23; a brief lull in the action had given them a chance to go on vacation. So they strolled along together in silence._

They came to a small clearing surrounded by rose bushes. Harry pulled Hermione in close to him, looking down at her face which radiated happiness. He kissed her forehead softly before taking a step back. Hermione looked at his face quizzically. He held out his hand, in which lay a small square of red velvet. He flipped back the lid. Hermione gasped.

"Will you?" he asked.

Hermione wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. He responded in kind and one thing led to another…

Afterwards, Hermione lay with her head nestled against his chest, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders.

"I take that as a yes then?" Harry said, a slight grin on his face.

The horizon was ever so much closer. Hermione kept running towards it, pumping her legs up and down with a fierce determination. She tried to turn to avoid another flashback that she could see hovering in front of her but her coordination was not like it was in reality and she ran into it.

_Hermione's arms were bound tightly behind her back, a blindfold over her eyes. She had been captured. Captured! Due to her own stupidity, really. She had been on a simple reconnaissance mission into Albania, scouting out Voldemort's old hideout and had not been paying attention. Ergo, she had been ambushed. There had been a small scuffle, but she couldn't honestly hold her own against 5 Death Eaters._

The floor she was sitting on was cold and hard, rather uncomfortable. Hermione mentally chided herself, did she truly expect Voldemort to carpet his cells for the comfort of his prisoners?

She heard the door to her cell grate open and footsteps indicated the presence of 2 other people. She felt herself hauled to her feet.

"So Mudblood, we meet again, quite fortunately for me, though, ah, I imagine you are less elated about this meeting than I am," Hermione could hear the smirk in the man's voice. Shit. Malfoy. He had eluded the grasp of the Auror community for ages…she herself had not seen him since he disappeared after their 6th year at Hogwarts, reportedly to become initiated with the Death Eaters.

She felt a knife against the back of her head. The blindfold fluttered to the ground.

Draco had changed in the 5 years since she had seen him last; the person standing in front of her did not resemble the boy she had gone to school with.

Draco looked like evil personified.

His hair was still the same platinum blond that had left 1/2 of Hogwarts swooning. It provided a stark contrast to the rest of his outfit, which was stark black. He was wearing the traditional black Death Eater uniform, a black robe with a green lining over what appeared to be black leather pants. She looked up into his face, each feature looking like it were chiseled by a master sculptor. But it was his eyes that caught her. Despite their silver color, they were the blackest part of him, cold…hard…Hermione could easily understand how a man with those eyes could murder an elementary school class in cold-blood.

"Now," Draco said, taking a step closer to her, "what shall I do?"

Hermione glared at him in defiance.

Draco smirked and uncrossed his arms. Hermione could see the Dark Mark burned into his deathly white skin.

"Well," Hermione began, "you could start by getting some sun. Hanging around these dungeons makes you look like a bloody ghost."

Draco stared at Hermione as if wondering how a prisoner could speak so boldly. Then he made eye contact with the person standing behind her.

Hermione was pushed forward and sprawled across the floor. The unknown person began kicking her as she shouted in pain.

"Stop!" Draco commanded.

Hermione was pulled up to her knees so her head was at Draco's waist level.

"I was thinking of a slightly more fun activity, Granger," Draco said as he grabbed the collar of her robes, tearing them slightly.

Oh god, Hermione thought in a panic, he wouldn't, please god, don't, anything but that… she had of course heard the horrible rumors of what Death Eaters sometimes did to female prisoners, but - unlike most of the population - Hermione knew they were true.

"Oh right," Draco said, sarcastically shaking his head, "you're married. To Potter. I forgot. That wouldn't be proper now, would it Mudblood?"

Hermione was too frightened to even shake her head.

"I guess we'll just have to go to Plan B then," Draco sighed as he pointed his wand at her temple. "Crucio!"

A fine shimmer of sweat coated Hermione's forehead as she ran on, pressing towards the ever closer horizon.

_Hermione was out for a walk in New York City with Lilith, now 13, on a bright April day. They were walking in front of FAO Schwartz admiring the displays in the window. Hermione always made time once a month to go out with her daughter and do whatever she wanted to do. As they made their way down 5th Ave. pausing occasionally to look in one store or laugh at the tourists with their cameras Hermione's thoughts were anywhere but her past._

They walked a few more blocks before heading down into the subway to go home. The swiped their MetroCards through the slots and took a seat on the benches to wait for the train. Lilith and her were talking about life, mostly about school, when the beggar came up to them.

"Money, please good ma'am, money," he begged, waving a paper cup in front of Hermione.

Hermione tried to edge away from the man. But he followed her, waving his cup.

"Please, even spare one Sickle? A Knut? I beg you ma'am please!" he said. Hermione stopped short.

She turned around and stared at the man who was crouched on the pavement. Looking closely she could tell that the rag he wore might have once been a robe, but what really gave it away was one of his socks, a bright orange sock with "Cannons" printed on it over a broomstick. Chudley Cannons. Briefly Hermione allowed herself to wonder if they were possibly having a winning season for once.

"Mom…ah Mom…the train's here," Lilith said, tugging on Hermione's sleeve.

Hermione turned away from the man to go on the train, but just before getting on she turned and hurried back to the man. Stuffing a $20 bill into his cup she muttered under her breath, "just cross your fingers and hope for the best," before hurrying back to the train with the man's astonished gaze on her back.

The horizon appeared inches in front of her. Putting on a last bit of speed Hermione sprinted towards it, reaching out her arms and, finally, taking a running leap. As she came in contact with the horizon she felt her body snap out of its Pensieve-induced hypnotic daze and she tumbled back onto her rug. She lay there for a moment, panting. Though her body had not just actually been running there was sweat on her forehead…perhaps from mental exertion.

Having caught her breath, Hermione stood up, brushing off her robes.

"That bastard," Hermione muttered through clenched teeth as she strode out of her room and headed to the dining hall where she knew he would be having dinner now.

~*~

"So your mum I mean Professor Potter went to New York City and didn't bring you a present?" Celia said as she put down her cup of pumpkin juice.

"Well that wasn't the point of the trip," Lilith said, "and anyway, I used to live there remember? It'd be stupid to get a souvenir from a place I'm from."

"Still, she should have got you one of those 'Someone who loves me went to New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt' shirts," Celia said. "My uncle Bill went to Romania and got me one of those."

"Yeah," Lilith said, "but you're from Britain, not Romania."

"Whatev-"

Celia was cut off by a commotion in the doorway. Lilith watched in semi-horror and semi-amusement as her mother stormed through the Great Hall between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables, heading towards the Head Table. She took the steps up to the Table two at a time and stormed down the length of the table towards where Professor Snape was sitting.

_Whack_

Hermione reached across the table and hit Snape with a firm right hook to the jaw. He fell backwards in his chair as the entire Great Hall stood up to see what was happening. Scuffles broke out nearly everyday, but never between the teachers. And no one had even punched Snape, though many had dreamed about doing it.

The staff just stared. Most knew about what Hermione had been going through and the all hoped she hadn't finally lost it.

Snape staggered to his feet, "Hermione? What the bloody hell was that for?"

"That," Hermione said, "was for not warning me about what would happen."

"About what would happen when?" Snape said.

Minerva interrupted. "Excuse me Professors Snape and Potter. Why don't we take this into my office and let the students get back to eating." Her tone of voice left no room for any questions, let alone refusals.

Hermione turned around and surveyed the hall as if seeing it for the first time. "Oh dear," she said, putting her hand over her mouth. "Yes, why don't we let the students get back to eating. Just, uh, carry one like that didn't happen everyone." Hermione briskly walked out of the Great Hall followed by Snape and Minerva.

~*~

"What happened?" Snape asked, seated in Minerva's office, across the table from Hermione.

"I set up the Pensieve and place in my memory and then looked inside," Hermione took a breath, "but when I looked inside it was if I was trapped, I couldn't get out, and I had to somehow _run_ through the memories to escape."

Snape sighed. "Hermione, after you added the Ramora scales what did you do?"

"I placed in my memory."

"Oh god, didn't you read any book on Pensieve making at all?"

"Yes I did Severus," Hermione said carefully, "what point are you trying to make, or is this just a general criticism of my intelligence?"

"My point Granger-"

"Severus," Minerva said warningly.

Snape mumbled an apology. "What I was saying is that my point, Hermione, was that you forgot the most important part, the most key part, the most commonly written about part of the spell."

"Excuse me?"

"The Control Charm," Severus said, "it allows you to retain total control over where you go while in the Pensieve."

"I'm sorry but there wasn't any such thing as a Control Charm mentioned in the parchment you read over and approved," Hermione said, "if this was so key why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I thought that you knew about the Charm and didn't write it down because you thought it too obvious," Snape said, "but it obviously wasn't that obvious to you."

Hermione glared at Snape.

"Severus," Minerva said, taking control of the conversation, "is there a way to fix the problem?"

"Absolutely," Snape said, touching together the tips of his fingers, "we can just put on the charm now and Hermione can use the Pensieve safely."

"Hermione, is that what you wish to do?" Minerva asked Hermione, placing her hand reassuringly on Hermione's shoulder, "we'll be there to help you if need be."

Hermione thought about it for a moment - no longer than one moment. "Yes. Definitely. Now"

~*~

Snape, Minerva and Hermione stood around the Pensieve. Snape had instructed Hermione in putting on the charm and now she was ready to try it again. Hopefully it was ready. Even though Snape and Minerva had reassured her countless times she was still very hesitant to try it.

"Are you going to go ahead with it Hermione?" Minerva asked gently.

Hermione stared into the depths of the Pensieve. She really had no choice. Snape had said that her earlier foray into her memories weren't enough to eradicate the dreams, that she had to use the Pensieve properly. She therefore did have somewhat of a choice. Let the uncontrolled dreams continue or go through the memories while in control?

Hermione took a deep breath as she considered her options. It didn't take her long. Throughout all her life she had been in control, even when she seemed at her lowest, she always tried to be in control of her emotions and thought everything out thoroughly, planning ahead, trying to never leave anything to chance. Why, she thought, should this be any different?

Hermione felt herself relax as she again drifted down into the green waters.

She floated down gently through the green mist, watching the memories float in front of her. She was just supposed to choose one and concentrate on floating towards it. She selected one that was just to her left a bit and concentrated on floating towards it. She didn't make any progress, instead the memories appeared to all be moving further away from her…in fact…the appeared to be moving rapidly together, coalescing in front of her.

Hermione watched in puzzlement as the memories formed together in the shape of a man, in the shape of-

Harry.

The psuedo-Harry looked exactly as the real Harry had, albeit a bit mistier and translucent, but the body, the clothing, the face. The face looked exactly as the real Harry had, and it hurt Hermione to look straight into it. He was smiling at Hermione and stretched out his hand. Hermione took it and felt herself be pulled closer into him. For gods sake, Hermione thought, it even smells like Harry.

Psuedo-Harry looked into her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but found that her voice was caught.

"Hello darling. I can't stay long, the powers that be didn't even want to give me this time. I just want to reassure you. We will be together again. We shall meet - truly meet - in the place where there is no darkness," Harry said before letting go of Hermione's hand. He stepped back and the memories began to swirl apart. Finding her voice, Hermione began to shout.

"Wait! Don't go!" she looked around frantically, but the apparition was gone, perhaps it had never been there in the first place.

Tears began to fall down her face as she scanned the misty landscape around her. A sense of hopelessness began to overtake her, but then she thought of the message. A sense of well-being began to replace the hopelessness, a sense of patience, or serenity. It would just take patience and time to find Harry, now that she knew where to look.

Heaven.


End file.
